"I Started Secretly Recording His Responses": People Are Revealing How They Confronted Their Toxic Boss Once And For All

Have you ever worked at a job where you were confused or felt disrespected by your manager, but you didn't quite know how to stand up to them or call them out for their behavior?

If you're currently going through a similar situation, don't fret, we asked the BuzzFeed Community: "When was a time you had to confront and talk to your boss about their bad behavior — and how did they respond?"

We gathered several of the responses for you to read below. If you have your own story to share, leave it in the comments.

1."Years ago, at one of my former jobs, every employee who had taken three or more sick days was called into their supervisor's office. (I had taken three-and-a-half sick days off; we were allowed to take six sick days per year.) When I was called into the office, I told my supervisor that my daughter was sick and that is why I took the time off. He told me I had to figure out which is more important. I yelled at my supervisor and told him that my job is important, but my daughter is more important. I was extremely angry that he had the nerve to say that. He did not say anything after that. He did not have any children at that time."

—Anonymous

2."A few days before my wedding, my manager decided to change how coverage was done. Before, you would put the dates you needed off on the calendar, and the manager or owner would coordinate coverage for you. My manager informed me — with a smile — that we now needed to coordinate our own coverage, and that if I didn’t find someone, I wouldn’t be cleared for my honeymoon (which we had already spent thousands of dollars on)."

3."My boss was both my general manager and the HR manager. For months he harassed me at work and made me feel constantly uncomfortable and stressed. But because he was the HR manager, I had no way of reporting him indirectly. Eventually, I bit the bullet and booked a one-on-one meeting with him. I didn't disclose the reason beforehand, and he came in clueless."

"He then sat down and asked me what I wanted to discuss. I told him I'd like to lay a formal complaint about him to him. I then listed all the instances where he had treated me inappropriately, and he had to write them down in front of me and file it as an official complaint afterward.

I've never felt more ballsy and was so proud of myself. He never did anything inappropriate again after that until the time I left."

—Anonymous

4."During meetings, if you would ask a question, my boss would insist for time's sake to answer one-on-one after the meeting. Then he would tell you something privately about policy that he could later deny having said as there were no witnesses. He backtracked so often, I started secretly recording his responses on my phone in case I ever needed to go to HR. Fast forward to my last day, I had quit for a better opportunity and he pulled me aside and gave me a journal."

5."My boss' boss kept interrupting me during a presentation I was giving. It was a terrible habit of his, and I despise being interrupted. After another interruption, I declared in my best teacher's voice that I would get to his question on the next slide, but if he kept interrupting me, then we were going to run out of time. He finally shut up after that. Thankfully, no consequences came of it since all of the other people in the meeting felt the same."

—crimsonenigma

6."I worked as a barista for a now-closed-down bookstore. I opened every day and one time, I waited 30 minutes to be let in. I rang the bell and knocked on the window. I didn't have a phone at the time because I was broke. After finally getting in and rushing to open, I had to go to the morning meeting where the manager made a big over-the-top passive-aggressive speech about being on time to work. She also added, '...and if I don't answer the bell, call the store.' I got really angry and informed her in front of the staff that I was there early and since she did the schedule she should know when her employees arrive, and no one should ever have to call to be allowed to work. I couldn't help but add: if she wasn't in the back smoking weed, she would have heard the bell."

7."I started a position as a budget analyst and was told in the interview that the position would be managing current finances. After starting my job, I was told I was expected to work well past 40 hours a week, including every weekend with manual labor (i.e. setting up and breaking down large equipment for sporting events) — as a budget analyst! I asked repeatedly for my job description to show this was in my contract and was denied the paperwork. After I told my manager I would not work the hours, he threatened to cut my pay and fire me. I left after a month — I just up and left the office without warning, leaving the keys to my office on my desk. The next day, I reported him to HR and the state for fraud and forgery."

—Anonymous

8."We were in the process of moving to a new office. Since I’m a paralegal, I was being moved into the smallest office with a giant pole running through it. The office was about the size of a small walk-in closet. I found out that my manager was planning to hire a second paralegal in about six months, and we would be sharing the small office, practically breathing on one another. When I tried to tell her I was concerned about my productivity being affected negatively because the office was too small for two people, she asked me: 'Is that going to be a problem for you? Because you won’t work for me.' She then took me to the new office and asked very loudly in front of the construction crew 'Why do two paralegals deserve a bigger office than one attorney?' She was power tripping on me HARD."

9."I was one of seven women working in an office of a privately owned small company. By the time I walked out after nine months of toxic behavior, screaming at employees, hiding positive COVID cases (we weren't notified until 40% of the office had been infected and confirmed positive), and incredibly poor management, only two women remained at the company. I had been looking for a new job for a while but hit the ground hard after my boss cut majority of female employee's hours to part time just before the holidays. After walking out, I sent him a text telling him that he'll never earn respect from his employees by managing through fear and expecting dedication and respect from employees who he treated like crap. I also called out his harassment toward female employees. I heard that he cornered the two remaining women in the office the next day asking them if they felt targeted by him — as if they'd tell him the truth."

—Anonymous

10."My ex boss was the PR director of a big fashion company. She was using the company’s budget to fly her friends and family to fashion shows and using the corporate card to buy her outfits and pay for her family’s and friends' parties at clubs. I found out about it and I confronted her. After that, she began threatening me and creating a very toxic environment, hoping I would quit. She was good friends with a HR manager and between them, decided to transfer me to another position in the company without asking me. I went to the HR director and told her everything. She didn’t believed me but in order to 'protect' me, she urged me to take another position instead of looking into my complaint. I lasted six months in the new position before I quit because I didn’t liked my new position."

11."I worked for a small mom-and-pop store in a small town. The owners were in complete charge of ordering products for customers, and they would downright refuse to buy for certain customers. When these particular customers would return looking for their products, I would get blamed for the product not being ordered. After months and months of being blamed, I called out the owners in front of these customers and it was an explosion of cuss words, calling me names, and slamming their fists on the counters. I just walked out and my chronic migraines slowly disappeared."

—Anonymous

12."My new manager at the time did not respect women. For example, he would come in at the start of the shift and speak to all the male supervisors and not me (I was the only female supervisor), purposely mispronounce my name to get a response, and ALWAYS interrupted me while speaking. After a few months, I told him I wanted to take him out to dinner and discuss what our issues were so that we could have a better work relationship."

13."I worked for a breakfast/after-school club company as a deputy manager. After a while, I just got frustrated with things the manager would do (or wouldn't do). A few examples: One day, I needed the first aid kit, but it wasn't stocked despite being recently signed off as checked and fully stocked. I asked the manager about this and she said, 'Yeah, I probably signed it but didn't do it.' We had a child with a nut allergy. We weren't supposed to have anything that even said 'may contain nuts.' However, cereal that was bought first week said: 'do not give to children with a nut allergy.' I informed my manager about this at the time, but then I saw the child eating the cereal the following week — and it was given by the manager. I confronted her about this, and she dismissed it saying she would 'take the fall.'"

14."I called my manager out at a meeting in front of his mother (the owner), and he stormed out. He began texting me while I was still at this meeting, telling me that when I finish the job to go look for another company to work for. I just held the phone out to his mother and she chuckled. She told me he still doesn’t know how to treat women, and not to worry because I still have a job."

However, when I got out of the meeting, I immediately looked for a new company. I finished the job and parted ways."

—bettysometimes

15."I worked at a fast-food place and my general manager was hated by everyone (so hated that in the one year I worked there, 43 people had quit). One day, I walked into his office and told him I didn’t like the way I was being treated. I told him that the way he treats the other employees is rude, disrespectful, and honestly embarrassing, especially since he gossiped about employees TO OTHER EMPLOYEES. He was also kind of slimy (i.e. putting his hand on only the girls’ lower back when passing by, making offensive jokes based on women’s appearances, etc)."

16."I work at a craft store and was basically acting as the manager because none of them were doing their jobs. Anytime someone had a question, I was usually the one to answer and I enforced company policies. Almost all of my co-workers told me I’d be better than the managers (one in particular, we’ll call her Jane) we had. One of my close friends (we’ll call her Tina) also works at this store. Jane told Tina that I would be a bad manager because I’m 'too emotional and calls out too much.' This is coming from someone who can’t handle pressure during peak season and calls out more than I do. I was also basically doing her job because she couldn’t be bothered, I guess. Tina told me what Jane had said. Jane and I ended up in the break room together when we were clocking out."

"There has been a situation earlier that day and she said something about the way I handled it, so I said, 'because I’m too emotional, right?' The look on her face was priceless because she instantly knew what had happened.

She doesn’t talk about me, at least to Tina, behind my back anymore."

—crewgirlat221b

17."Me and most of my co-workers (about ten of us) had problems with our boss. She was toxic, petty, jealous of any employees outshining her, and overall a mean person. So many people quit because of her. At one point it got so bad that me and my co-workers all reported her behavior to HR. They did an investigation into her actions and eventually told her in a meeting 'if you don't change your behavior, you will be fired. As soon as you leave this room, you are going to treat your team with respect.' For about a year, she was a better manager. But after that, she became nasty again and people continued to either suffer through it or quit. For me, the straw that broke the camel's back was when she went on vacation for a week and left me a few projects to complete."

18."I was working as a key holder for a music store in the '90s. Management was in an upheaval and the company brought in an awful manager. When I was hired on, it was under the condition that I already had a trip planned and would only take the job if leave was granted at hiring (which it was). After working for her for a month and watching her change time cards and mess with peoples' money, she came in one day and told me my leave for my vacation was cancelled because she was taking one then. I handed her the keys to the store and walked out. I told her to enjoy her vacation. She was the only key holder left. She had to work every day as she had run off the entire management team. I had a fabulous vacation in Vegas."

—Anonymous

19."I was in a manager's meeting, and we were all venting our frustrations. Afterward, my manager called me into her office and told me to shut the door. She then pulled out a letter of reprimand for unprofessional comments and asked me to read and sign it. I read it and then told her I would be happy to sign it when she printed off more copies of the letter and gave them to everyone who had been in the meeting, including herself. I stated that I had not said anything different than others had said and gave her three examples when she pulled the letter back and put it away and nothing more was said about. I never trusted on anything again."

Have you ever had to call out your manager for their behavior? If so, tell us what happened and if anything came of it in the comments below.