People Are Sharing The One Thing They Regret About Their Past Relationships, And It's Eye-Opening
Earlier this month, redditor u/Puitzza asked, "What is your biggest relationship regret" to the Reddit community, and the responses were heartfelt and honest.
Here are just a few of the responses:
2."Not breaking up with people sooner." —u/GeraldoLucia
"I have wasted so much time on people for various reasons that have cut into my life in detrimental ways. Not just because I could have actually found a real partner during that time, but because I was so busy trying to reason with man children when that extra time could have been devoted to hobbies or studying."
3."Thinking if I'd behave a certain way that he would treat me better." —u/snowy_diao
"The good thing is I gave myself a good kick in the bum and will never devalue myself for anyone else ever again lol."
4."Ignoring the big age difference." —u/TinyDifference881
"I thought I was 'mature for my age.'"
5."Trying for so damn long to save the marriage." —u/searedscallops
"We should have gotten divorced years earlier."
6."Cheated on the person that loved and accepted me." —u/nowilltolive556
"Side note: Our relationship didn't really start off good either. He was my side piece, but my parents approved of him. I'm just a serial cheater at the end of the day, so I have no valid excuse. I'm just a scum. I'm just gonna stay single."
7."Bawling my eyes out on the way to sign papers for the house we were buying together, and still signing anyway." —u/toadthroat
"I knew then, in my gut, that it was the wrong choice and I was too scared to call it. We broke up about three months after moving in."
8."Being so passive." —u/dr3am_assassin
"I realized that trying to be the rational one all the time led to me being passive, which ultimately led to me being so sad and depressed for so long. That eventually led to me being manipulated."
9."Not being assertive with a new partner." —u/Julieann1970
"They convinced me to distance myself from a close friend who was a positive influence on my life. My new partner became a negative influence on my life. I have learned."
10."Meeting his teenaged kid." —u/cambiokeys
"It made the breakup much more complicated. We got along really well."
11."How I broke up with the guy I was dating in college." —u/minihoyaaustralis
"I was too abrupt and I think it came across as unkind. The relationship needed to end, but he didn't do anything explicitly wrong, and he deserved a more respectful breakup."
12."I mistook attention for love and didn't understand my own self, and that cost me." —u/Public-Philosophy-35
"I also equated talking to so many people as putting myself out there without realizing the consequences, depth, or expectations. But now I know not to show so much love and not to be as generous."
13."Giving up too early." —u/arfarfdeadringer
"Also, letting people's opinions influence my relationships and telling my friends and family too much detail about my relationships. It sabotaged their opinion of my partner. Sigh."
14."For me, it’s all the things I didn’t say." —u/GoHighly
"There are so many times I could have been more open or honest, or communicative, but didn’t out of fear or anxiety. This goes for both platonic and romantic relationships throughout my life."
15."I’ve had regrets wondering, 'What if I had said yes, let’s give it another chance.'" —u/daisybluebird9
"I was in a relationship that started in high school and went into college. It was my first real love. He unexpectedly broke up with me and I was devastated. Months later he tried to reconcile and say he made a mistake, and wants to get back together. I said, 'No.' I was still hurt and upset, and we never really spoke again. Found out later from some mutual friends that his family was pressuring him to break up with me because I was younger (by two years) and it was a long distance relationship. But we had both moved on. This was like 15 years ago and I’m happily married with kids now. But anytime someone brings up regrets, I feel guilty because it always pops in my head."
16."Marrying a woman just because she got pregnant." —u/mrxbrown
"It was never about love. She was a rebound and someone that was good for me, emotionally, in a vulnerable moment, but not what I wanted or needed for my life in general."
17."Giving them access to my pains and triggers before knowing how they would use that information to push and provoke me." —u/uppercase_G
"Sometimes they’d embrace me, ask, get curious, hug me, or they’d get cold and use it against me. I learned to have a little list of imaginary triggers that don’t actually provoke me so I don’t give them the reaction they want, and I can see how long it takes for them to reference it because they feel privy to your 'secrets' - they always bring it back up.
I realize their reactions are a reflection of how they want me to respond to them during their 'sensitive' times, hugely revealing and rewarding when it comes to knowing about them!"
18."I didn’t tell someone I loved them when I realized it." —u/bookgang2007
"I don’t regret it because of the person; dude was avoidant and would probably have freaked out anyways. I regret not doing it because it would have been so healing. It took nearly a decade to even love again. I wish I also expressed it when it felt right for me. Oh well...hopefully the next love."
19."Being coerced into having a child." —u/lilhippyontheprairie
"Then two more with them when I should have left instead. Babies fix nothing."
20.And, "Not being better at communicating my sexual needs." —u/TribalVictory15
New Line Cinema
"I should also make it more of a priority to flirt with my wife way more often. I feel like I could have sex around two to three times, a day and I am a 40-year-old man. I probably think about having sex maybe 100 times a day."