People Share Hilarious Tales of Their Children as 'Coworkers,' Because Now They Basically Are
As more and more parents are bringing their work home, they're seeking moments of levity to grapple with the madness of the coronavirus pandemic. One way Twitter users are doing that this week is by re-envisioning their children as coworkers. As you can imagine, the juxtaposition of cranking through deadlines at the office whilst being asked by a mini co-worker for more waffles is too funny.
Writer and speaker Shannon Dingle got the ball rolling, asking followers to tweet about a young child but using the term "my co-worker" or "my friend's co-worker."
Tell us about a young child but say “my co-worker” or “my friend’s co-worker” instead of their name. (Because, you know, this is reality now for some of us.)
Ex: My co-worker asked for yogurt and is now crying because I gave her yogurt.— Shannon Dingle (@ShannonDingle) March 18, 2020
Here, some of the best tweets and quotes. (Even editors here at Parents got in on the game!)
1. Owls and llamas, oh my
She then demanded I make her pancakes with 3 dips. It was very aggressive. THEN she proceeded to try to pull down my pants while I was making them. Either HR has a really good poker face, or doesn't care, because she's staring into the abyss with her corporate llama face.
— Julia Dennison (@julsdennison) March 19, 2020
2. You work, they'll chill
"My coworker had the nerve to tell me that she doesn’t want a job. She said, 'I want you to work and just take care of me.'" — Adrienne Farr, Parents executive operations coordinator
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3. More chips now
"One of my 'co-workers' just flipped out because one pancake, of four, didn't have chocolate chips." — Patrick Moffitt, Parents managing editor
4. Doesn't my coworker realize he's not a puppy?
my co-worker (who is NOT the dog) licked me while I was on camera to get my attention and also as a joke.
— Abby Norman (@abbynormansays) March 18, 2020
5. Typical coworker jealous at play
My sister’s co-worker took a bite out a lunch sandwich and then sobbed because it was no longer whole like her siblings’
— Katie Botkin (@khbotkin) March 18, 2020
6. Steer clear of the grumpiest colleague
"My coworker wears headphones all day to deliberately ignore me. When I need to ask him something and tap him on the shoulder, he looks offended and angry. There’s just not a lot of synergy going on in this office." — Jessica Hartshorn, Parents entertainment editor
7. Pleading guilty
My coworker disavows any knowledge of silly putty behind the couch cushions.
— Rebecca Knox (@🏡) (@seattlebecca) March 18, 2020
8. But honestly, why isn't there more cheesecake?
My co-worker threw herself on the floor wailing CHEEEEEEESECAAAAAAAKE after I told her we were out of cheesecake.
— Maria W. Norris (@MariaWNorris) March 18, 2020
9. Nothing like having a snotty colleague
"My coworker, who is wearing only a diaper and a cowboy hat, just wiped his nose on the knee of my jeans." — Katie Arnold-Ratliff, Parents senior features editor
10. Call in the clean-up crew
My coworker just threw his muffin wrapper on the floor and is now proceeding to sit on the floor spreading muffin crumbs all over the carpet. I can’t find it in me to care.
— kb (@somekillerbee) March 18, 2020
11. Miss Independent
My co-worker asked me to lift her on to the toilet and when I said she was big enough to go herself, she made the L for loser sign at me.
— Canne McKenzie (@cannemckenzie) March 19, 2020
12. If ever there was a time to be challenged to a duel...
Two of my co-workers have very loud sword fights EVERYDAY that start with giggles and end with one or both of them screaming and crying. And they insist that the rest of their co-workers witness the battle.
— Heather Schoenfeld (@HeatherS_25) March 19, 2020
13. Who needs clothing anyway?
My coworker refuses to put on clothes and is running around screaming, “I’m naked. I’m naked.”
My coworker also painted the dog with finger paint while I was trying to send an important email.— Eliza eats the rich (@tiEliza) March 18, 2020
14. Or you could just wear...bananas!
My friend’s coworker showed up to a meeting covered in bananas.
— Waves_SF (@Waves_SF) March 18, 2020
15. TFW "quiet time" goes out the window
My coworker is supposed to be quiet for two hours while the other executive teaches music lessons (the latter is an adjunct at the local U). My coworker is instead talking loudly at a YouTube gaming video.
— Megan Romer 🍭 (@meganromer) March 18, 2020
16. The right time for a dance party is any time, obviously
My coworker yelled "WATCH ME WIGGLE MY BUTT!" repeatedly during my last conference call.
— Francesca (@fndesimone) March 18, 2020
Goes to show the simplest reframing technique can prove helpful, allowing parents everywhere to make the best of a unique and stressful situation.
