What am I talking about, you ask? Well, let me direct your attention to the "73 Questions" video Kardashian West filmed for Vogue magazine last week. The soon-to-be lawyer gave fans a rare look inside her Hidden Hills, California, mansion, which she describes as a “minimal monastery." That essentially means there's nothing in her house. The furniture is all white. There's no art on the walls. Kimye's home is so bare and eerie that Kenny G looked trapped when he played the sax in their living room a few weeks ago. When it comes to their décor, the Wests are fully embracing the phrase "Less is more."
And this applies to their bathroom sinks too. I know what you're thinking: How can you make a bathroom sink "minimal"? It's just a sink. But Kim and Kanye have done just that by installing sinks in their master bathroom with—wait for it—no basins. One eagle-eyed fan pointed this out on Twitter, and it's caused a mass frenzy.
"Can someone PLEASE explain the sinks at kim & kanye's house," the user wrote. Take one look at the sinks, below, and you'll be just as perplexed.
These sinks have taken over my life and possibly damaged my pupils. I've been staring at them for so long that I'm now seeing spots. Kris Jenner's face is beginning to form in the marble. This is making me question everything: science, physics, my life, my choices. Where the hell does the water go? Wouldn't it spill all over those bare, eerie floors? Do Kim and Kanye have some kind of magic water that nourishes without making a mess? That seems like something rich people would invest in.
Here are just a handful of people who are feeling personally victimized by these sinks:
Obviously, I couldn't let this story go without figuring out how these possessed sinks work—and it turns out the explanation isn't that exciting. If you look closely at the photo, you'll see the countertop isn't flat: It's concave, which allows the water to trickle down to a tiny hole located 10 inches from the faucet.
There you have it, folks. The case of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's mystery sinks is solved. If only the answer were more exciting, like Kris cast a spell on the countertops or something. You know she has the power to do that.