Parenting Tips: The 1 Phrase You Should Never Say to Your Child

·2 min read

Letting your child fail at something is one thing every parent must do in their lifetime. Unfortunately, that’s easier said than done. As a parent, you want to see your child discover their passions, reach new accomplishments and avoid blunders. But instead of helping your child evade life mistakes, using this one saying might do more harm than good to your child in the long run. “Because I said so” is one of the worst things you can say to your child.

Life Lessons Our Parents Taught Us

Every parent has probably used “because I said so” once in their lifetime. But according to Dr. Casey Gamboni, a therapist and teaching and supervising faculty member at the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at The Family Institute at Northwestern University, the popular proverb can limit their growth as an individual.

“If you are normalized in saying ‘because I said so’ because you want to lead [your child] down the best path possible, you also have to think that you need to have your child learn by mistakes,” Gamboni said. “Even if you disagree with the decision, even if it comes back to negatively impact them, it’s still a learning opportunity for the child.”

According to Gamboni, saying “because I said so” could also “deplete your child of finding power within themselves and garnering a sense of agency.”

“Saying ‘because I said so’ limits [your child] from choosing a path of their own and developing a sense of confidence,” Gamboni said. “When you say ‘because I said so’ [your child] is being led their entire lives. There can of course be followers and leaders, but I think there’s also this importance in garnering your own conclusions and coming into your own and allowing your child to make mistakes.”

This is just one of the sayings and actions that could be damaging your relationship with your child. Here are more of the top parenting mistakes to avoid.