People Who Are Older Are Sharing The "Life Tips" Every Young Adult Woman Needs To Know, From Money To Friendships
As we get older, there may be a lot of things we wish we knew or were more aware of when we were younger — so, when Reddit user u/RelaxedWithHumor asked, "What are things young women need to know?" the answers were genuinely thoughtful and honest. Here's what they had to say:
1."If you feel uncomfortable, say something or remove yourself from that situation. You don’t need to put up with someone or something just to be polite. Someone else getting offended by you saying ‘no’ is none of your concern."
"Agreed, but by the same token: Don’t feel guilty if you need to 'humor' a guy until you are somewhere safe and can get away. Safety is always a priority; trust your gut and get away however works best."
2."Hang out with people whose company you truly enjoy. Don't have friendships for other people's benefit."
3."Lots of people will tell you what they think about you and what you should do, and what you shouldn’t do. Not everyone’s thoughts are worth consideration. Don’t take criticism from anyone who you wouldn’t also go to for advice."
"There is nothing that you could possibly do that would keep everybody from criticizing you. Somebody is going to whine about it, no matter what you do."
4."Never date a man that 'you can fix.' If he was an ass to begin with, he won't stop being an ass because of you."
"Equally don't date someone because they claim to have made changes 'for you.'"
5."ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS negotiate your salary. I'm a compensation professional. I see this mistake made very often."
6."That stretch marks and dimples on your skin are normal and that everything on Instagram is edited."
7."Self-care is not the same as being selfish. People-pleasing is not the same as caring or compassion. Codependency is not the same thing as love. You matter, and you have worth that goes far beyond what you can offer to men. It's not contingent upon your looks, your weight, your dress size, your virginity, your fertility, your youth (or the illusion thereof), or how much money you/your partner make. It is intrinsic to you as a human being, and no person or circumstance (not even you, or the choices you make) can take them away. You can forgive someone without necessarily continuing to have a relationship with them. You can't change them or love the red flags out of them."
8."'No' is a full and complete sentence. It's not an invitation for a discussion. When you said 'no,' you had a good reason for it. You don't owe anyone being nice or polite. If they try to insist, don't be ashamed to tell them to fuck right off."
9."Good men do exist — but no nice guy has ever had to say how nice he is."
10."Plan B has a four-year shelf life. Buy one and keep it in your bedside drawer. They aren't expensive (generics are as cheap as $11, but it can go up to $40), and you'll be happy as hell if something happens (even if you're careful, condoms break) when you can decide right then and there to take one instead of having to find a pharmacy in your panic."
"Plan B is also not as effective if you weigh over 165 pounds!"
11."If you feel you are being followed, do not go home, go somewhere very public or a police station."
12."Apply for every job even if you don’t think you have all the desired qualifications. Male candidates are more likely to apply for a job even if they are missing qualifications. Also, most job recommendations list more requirements than are actually necessary to do the job adequately. Lastly, you may have specific/niche job experiences that would otherwise be valuable to an employer; they may offset some lacking other qualifications."
13."Setting boundaries is strengthening relationships. It's also a safer way to do things."
14."If something feels 'off' with your body, especially your vaginal area, don't be ashamed of it, and definitely don't wait for it to go away. Go see a gynecologist. If you're too shy to tell them your concerns, write them down for the doctor to read."
15."You don’t need to have children if you don’t want to. In fact, you shouldn’t have children if you don’t want to. You don’t owe your family or a partner or anyone else children."
16."Your worth is not determined by your appearance: Society often places a lot of emphasis on appearance, but it's important to remember that your worth is not based on how you look. You are valuable and worthy of respect and love regardless of your physical appearance."
"Invest in your education: Education is a powerful tool that can help you achieve your goals and unlock new opportunities. Invest in your education and continue to learn throughout your life.
Advocate for yourself: Don't be afraid to speak up for yourself and assert your needs and boundaries. Learn to communicate effectively and advocate for yourself in both personal and professional settings.
Build healthy relationships: Surround yourself with people who support and uplift you. Build healthy relationships that are based on mutual respect, trust, and communication.
Take care of your physical and mental health: Prioritize your physical and mental health by eating a healthy diet, getting regular exercise, practicing self-care, and seeking professional help if needed.
Set goals and work toward them: Identify your goals and take steps toward achieving them. Break them down into manageable steps and celebrate your progress along the way.
Stand up for what you believe in: Use your voice and stand up for what you believe in, whether it's social justice, environmentalism, or another cause you're passionate about.
Financial independence is important: Learn to manage your finances and become financially independent. This can give you greater freedom and control over your life."
17."If he refuses to use a condom, he's an irresponsible manchild."
18."Figure out who you are and what you want. Once you know who you are, you can deal successfully with other people. Some people will want things from you: your time, sex, money, and anything they think they can get. Some people are actually kind, nice people, and can help you out. Anybody with an 'I'll do for you if you do for me' attitude is NOT interested in being your friend."
"Don't think that sex will make someone care about you. Young men tend to be interested in only the moment. Sex will make someone want to come back and have sex again. It won't really make them care about you if they do not. That's a different kind of thunderbolt and is unmistakable when it hits you.
What sex CAN do is make a guy obsess about you, and often not in a good way. So, never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself. If you should go into bed with someone you know you don't love, just think of it as fun, and don't let your hopes run away from you. Sex can make a guy fond of you, but 'fond' isn't the prize. Learn to understand the difference between 'pour le sport' and 'pour l'amour.' Get up the next day and ask yourself 'could I spend 40 years with this guy?'"
19."No one is thinking about you; they're mostly thinking about themselves."
20."Clean your makeup brushes. Your skin will thank you."
21."Get yourself financially stable before you get married. Buy your own home, or car, and have a good savings account. Never be in a position where the man holds the purse strings."
22."Study whatever you want. Dream big dreams and focus on being happy with yourself. Anytime someone tells you that you can't do something, and if it's something you are passionate about, prove them wrong. You are smarter and more powerful than you know. Be kind, be generous, but know your boundaries. Be a student and a teacher. Be proud of your achievements no matter how big or small they may seem. Your worth is not measured by your bank accounts. Your worth is measured by your own happiness in your life. So, write an amazing story. You are loved, you are important, and you are beautiful exactly as you are. Do not change for other people's opinions or views. To change oneself, you must be willing to put in the effort."
"Success comes to those who put heart, mind, and soul into the task. I love you, and I am proud of you. Sending hugs and love to anyone."
