Okay, My Heart Honestly Hurts For These 20 People Having The Absolute Worst Week Ever

·3 min read

1. The person whose bananas went skydiving:

2. The person who has apparently been tasting their cats dirty-ass mouth for lord knows how long:

3. The person who got absolutely bodied by the Scrabble gods:

4. The person who will never get to feast on their precious little beans:

5. The person who cooked their waffles to the limit that waffles can be cooked:

6. The person who will forever be jamming with their friends out in Portugal:

7. The 2022 Mosquito Award Winner for Blood Of The Year:

8. The person faced with Schrödinger's delivey:

9. The person who is currently on the front line of the Armadillo Wars:

10. The person whose rat friends made it so they're now perfectly set for a long winter:

11. The person who seems to be getting progressively more and more hilarious things stuck in their drain at the worst possible time:

12. The person who learned the hard way to always leave strings be:

13. The person who had the unthinkable happen:

14. The person who is stuck being friends with quite literally the worst nacho-maker in the world:

15. The person whose tattoo is apparently leaking:

16. The person who gets to play This Little Piggy Went To The Market with a brand new friend on the plane:

17. The person who knows that even the best sausages on Earth always taste better with a little plastic infusion:

18. The person whose dog might be an emissary of the devil:

Or maybe they just like paper. It does taste good, after all.

19. The person whose phone from 1874 couldn't survive a little fall:

John Quincy Adams-ass phone.

20. The person whose cup shall measure no more:

So it is written, so it shall be.