Official Listening Parties for Beyoncé's Renaissance Album Are Popping Up All Over Europe and I'm Just Mad I Didn't Get An Invite

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I don’t mean to get you over-excited on this Wednesday, but in approximately two more days, Beyoncé’s seventh studio album, Renaissance, will be available to the masses. And in a move that I’m hella jealous about, Sony Music has announced a series of official listening/“release” parties for it in anticipation.

According to Billboard, those parties will be taking place at secret locations across various European countries such as France, Germany, The Netherlands, and Belgium. Canada and Australia will also be getting their Renaissance on in Toronto and Sydney, respectively. Additional locations are set to be announced later.

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*Deep, heavy, “you won’t break my soul”-style sigh*

Now you know I love y’all, but please excuse me for a second. This next set of paragraphs will be directed towards Yoncé.

Umm, Beyoncé. Girl, I know you’ve probably delegated this take to other people, but I’m just trying to figure out where my invite is? I understand if it got lost in the mail—that happens. I also understand if Sir or Rumi accidentally spilled juice on it or something and messed it up. They’re kids. But ma’am, the anticipation is REAL over here. Surely, you can squeeze me in, right?

As a matter of fact, you or your staff can just go ahead and slide it on into my Mystery Box that I ordered about a month ago. I got box number four, seeing as how that’s your favorite number and all. I know the boxes ship out on Friday, the same day that the album drops, but I promise it’s not too late. But I digress.

At any rate, since it seems glaringly obvious that I won’t be taking my talents across the pond, I guess I’ll have to wait with bated breath for this project to arrive like the rest of the world. For all you folks who’ll manage to get tix to those parties, consider yourselves blessed by Bey and use your newfound powers wisely.

Renaissance, act i, drops Friday July 29.