OBAMAGATE! It's the biggest political scandal in history. It involves dark and nefarious crimes by OBAMA! (who we don't like) and BIDEN! (who is the president's opponent in the next election). What did they do? Uh...OBAMAGATE!
This is shaping up to be the most transparent scam yet in a presidency—and a lifetime—full of them. The president is an example of that great American archetype, the snake-oil salesman. The confidence man. You hatch a scheme to part people from their money and you skip town before they realize what's what. If you can't skip town, you cook up another scam to distract them from the last one—or to part other people from their money and keep the gravy train rolling. Just ask the contractors who worked on Trump's properties how he does business. Ask the folks who made the mistake of buying shares in his firm when he brought it public to avoid personal bankruptcy. One can only imagine what the steaks or the vodka tasted like. Buyer beware.
We've learned none of these lessons, however, and now that the United States response to the coronavirus pandemic is among the worst in the world, we'll have to sit through month after month where the president tries to sell us on OBAMAGATE! Quick, they're seeing through the last fraud—change the subject! He was asked to explain OBAMAGATE! in a Fox Business interview with reliable sycophant Maria Bartiromo this morning. At another point, his interrogator essentially asked if it ever gets difficult being so awesome. Anyway, here's his explanation of this titanic scandal.
"If I were a Democrat instead of a Republican, I think everybody would've been in jail a long time ago, & I'm talking with 50-year sentences...people should be going to jail for this stuff...this was all Obama. This was all Biden": Trump suggests Obama & Biden should be in prison pic.twitter.com/MOwPvpYRu4
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) May 14, 2020
If you're still wondering what exactly the "crime" is, there's a good reason for that: this is gobbledygook. He says they wanted Flynn to lie about him, and then something about KT-McFarland-"knock knock FBI," and then "unmasking," and then he goes back into the FBI Lovers routine. What? That's from the last album! But why bother with a coherent narrative when you can just say OBAMA and GATE next to each other, and a good chunk of the country's lizard brains will activate? That is the sum of this. His fans hate Obama so he put the Evil Suffix next to it and now he will say it over and over while his lackey attorney general and intelligence chief leak pieces of information that vaguely gesture towards Shadowy Deep State Coups.
The starting gun for this particular round of conspiracy-mongering seems to be the return of Michael Flynn to the news after the Justice Department dropped its case against Flynn despite the fact he'd already pled guilty. It seems the FBI did use some unethical tactics against members of Trumpworld, but the Justice Department Inspector General found they are basically the same unethical tactics the FBI uses all the time. Also, as Bradley Moss snuck onto the Fox News Channel to point out, Trump himself claims the sitting president can order any investigation into anyone they want at any time. Even if that were what Obama did, and there's no proof of that, Trump ought to have no problem with it. Unless, of course, you regard the law as just a sword to wield against your enemies and a shield to protect your allies.
Meanwhile, we're supposed to believe this all is not tied in any way to the fact that the attorney general is continually behaving like the president's personal lawyer rather than the nation's top law-enforcement official. Also, are we also supposed to forget Flynn was on the payroll of the Turkish government while serving as Trump's top foreign-policy adviser? Of course we are. General Flynn was just a simple patriot, serving his country. America First! Not that Trump much bothers with any of the specifics. Who cares! It's time to say OBAMAGATE! over and over again until it sticks. Look at his response when he was first asked what actual crime Obama committed.
maybe the funniest video I’ve ever seen pic.twitter.com/x2oPAUyCpe
— Erik Strobl 🌹 🦝 (@erikstrobl) May 11, 2020
This really is fucking funny, but it's also kind of scary. People are still buying shit from this guy after all these years. People really will believe anything they want to hear. Folks are willing to overlook the fact that he so blatantly doesn't care whether they live or die, or lose their jobs, or suffer. He says the right things about the right people. It feels good. It's a dopamine hit. Meanwhile, he is now calling—once again—for his political opponents to be imprisoned. For 50 years! Because...crimes! It's authoritarian clownery. Yesterday, we learned they're trying to force bureaucrats to fudge the death numbers, Chernobyl-style. Now he's revived the calls to throw the Enemies of the State in the gulag. TROTSKYGATE!
You Might Also Like