Some point to catastrophic world events as signs that the apocalypse is coming. I say, look no further than what’s happening to jeans right now. It seems like every few weeks in 2017 bring a new style that immediately goes viral due to its sheer ridiculousness and capacity to anger the masses.
Let us review.
7. Fancy JNCOs
JNCOs have been working their way back into our cultural consciousness since 2015, with Balenciaga releasing their upscale version back in January. Maybe skip these guys during this year’s Gathering of the Juggalos though.
6. The Topshop Clear Knee Mom Jeans
These caused an uproar when they were released, but, in retrospect, they’re way more palatable than their counterparts.
5. The Topshop All Clear Jeans
Not content with simply making clear knees, the mad scientist who works at Topshop took things a step further with an all-clear pair — meaning, they’re not even jeans anymore. Just very plastic pants.
4. Kendall Jenner’s Janklets
Jorts, without any of the ease or comfort or practicality of jorts.
3. One-Legged Jeans
Look, I get it: when at Coachella, etc.
2. These $425 Fake Mud Jeans
The logical endpoint of performative masculinity: $425 jeans with fake mud painted on them.
1. Vetements x Levi’s Bare Butt Jeans
Every day we stray further from God’s light.
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