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The universe, in her eternal wisdom, has granted us the photoshoot of our dreams
There are some things we know for sure: food taken from someone else’s plate tastes better, toddlers can be adorable little jerks, whoever does Trump’s bronzer is paid either too much or not enough, and sometimes the F in fashion should be capitalized.
Enter the Target pandemic dress. You know the one. The prairie-style dress Lorca Damon made social media-famous by posting, “Target has decided if we’re gonna suffer a pandemic, we might as well look like we just lost the farm after locusts ate our crops.”
Which is already funny.
Then, in what can only be described as the best ‘hold my beer’ moment, after Reagan McDowell posted the meme on her own Facebook page, her friend Laura Waters decided to buy the frock and do a full-on photoshoot in it.
“I promised Reagan McDowell after I saw her hilarious post last night I would buy the dress and do a photo shoot!” The Facebook caption reads. “[…] y’all are in for a treat!”
The perfectly styled pics give off a Lana Del Rey Told Her Stylist She Wanted To Look Like A Haunted American Girl Doll And When The Stylist Asked Which One, Del Rey Answered Through Gritted Teeth ‘All Of Them’ vibe, non?
Waters posed with a lawn mower, near a swing set, holding a doll while barefoot and pregnant, and in a personal favorite, holding garden tools while standing in front of a white fence.
“I never expected for people to love them this much! It was just a fun little thing that my nine-year-old and I did together and now it’s gone not only across the country but around the world,” Waters tells Scary Mommy. “It’s so funny because people think that a professional photographer did these and I am a model! My nine-year-old daughter took these with my iPhone and I’m just a Hairstylist in a small town and a single mom of three!”
The dress, which is totally something Nelly Olsen would make fun of Laura Ingalls for wearing, is available in 5 colors, in sizes XS through 4X. The printed fabric says ‘hold me, Jebediah’ while the ruffled shoulder whispers ‘and never let me go’; yet the length offers a sly ‘missionary style, lanterns off, Saturday night in the lean-to, and only after I’ve washed up in the creek’ good-girl sensibility. No word if the garment comes with a chastity belt, or if the dress is designed to act as one.
The reviews for the dress are solid, with women commenting how the dress would fit in at any labor camp or working in the fields. One reviewer noted how the dress is ‘perfect for the active sister-wife on the go.’ We really can’t argue.