Sadly, the concept of “boys will be boys” is alive and well in this culture, despite all our collective efforts to end the habit of casually dismissing predatory behavior as something that women and girls just have to accept. For one disturbing example, we present this Reddit post, which tells about a mother who thinks its a-OK for her preteen boys to stalk women — in fact, she thinks it may even be the woman’s fault for “distracting” them.
Gross, right? Here are the particulars.
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“I (21/f) live near the beach and often go swimming in the morning. 99% of the time I’m the only person there, and it’s the only ‘me time’ I get during the day,” wrote Reddit user Amoteno. “There’s a condo overlooking the beach and a small shop nearby that I usually go to afterwards. On some occasions I would notice a drone hovering in the vicinity while I was swimming or relaxing in the sun. I didn’t think much of it because it was never really close. A few days ago, I went into the shop and a woman approached me. We made small talk and she told me she lives in the condo with her family. Then she told me that she has three sons (aged 11, 12, 13) who often wake up early to watch me swim. That was very weird and I really didn’t know what to say (I never noticed anyone watching me from the windows/balcony).”
Our skin is literally crawling right now. But wait. It gets worse.
“She went on to say that I’ve been ‘distracting’ her kids and warned me that they were watching me with the drone. I was even more weirded out and told the woman that she should teach her sons that their actions are not acceptable. She just kept saying that they’re going through puberty and that I shouldn’t be surprised. I told her that her attitude was disturbing and that she should discipline her children instead of warning me about them. She was VERY offended when I said this and insisted that they’re ‘well behaved.’ She said that I should stop coming to the beach if I feel uncomfortable. Apparently her husband also agrees that I probably shouldn’t be going there as I’m causing their kids to be distracted.”
Yes, the mother who thinks stalking women with an areal camera is nbd suggested that OP not go to the beach anymore because her exercising in a public space is a distraction for three toxic males in the making. Victim blame much there, mom?
While we’re over here being angry, Reddit commenters had a lot to say about this totally messed up and disturbing situation.
“These are the kind of parents who will defend their sons while on a rape charge. ‘She was asking for it’; ‘she shouldn’t have dressed like that,'” wrote Lotr_farin.
“Yep. This is rape culture through and through. Men shouldn’t be expected to practice even a minimum of self-control, but women should police their every action, what they wear, and where they go. It’s disgusting and so scary that this mother is raising an entire family of boys to think this way,” said AbsolutPalm.
Not only is this highly creepy, disgusting, disturbing behavior, it’s also probably illegal.
“… [T]his falls under harassment laws, I believe. The kid is only 13, so now’s the best time to throw that on him. It’ll expunge when he turns 18 and his record will run clean on a background check. But still stick around long enough to learn a little something and maybe teach his parents that action DO, in fact, have consequences. Even for dear little Jimmy, Tommy, and John,” wrote Whymypersonality.
There is so much wrong here we can’t even stomach it. We only hope OP stays safe and that those parents learn what it means to actually discipline their children.
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