Missouri Sen. Josh Hawley's Crazy Fundraising Proves That Idiots Love Giving Their Money to Idiots

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Stephen A. Crockett Jr.
·2 min read
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Two assholes, one mic.
Two assholes, one mic.

In the first quarter of 2021, Missouri Sen. and resident Republican fuckboi Josh Hawley raised some $3 million, a number that proves that crazy folks who loved some Donald Trump are still a unified pack of money spending idiots.

From CNN:

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Hawley received more than 57,000 donations in that three-month period from more than 44,000 individuals — a pool of grassroots donors that he can continue to tap if he pursues the GOP’s 2024 presidential nomination.

Included in his fundraising haul is $600,000 raised between the afternoon of January 6, the day the Missouri Republican objected to the certification of electoral votes from some states President Joe Biden had won and Trump supporters rioted at the US Capitol, and January 25. During that window, the senator’s team had paused its usual text and email outreach to donors — which means those donors were responding to Hawley’s actions without being asked to contribute.

Hawley numbers still fall short of Miss QAnon 2021 Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, who raised some $3.2 million in the first quarter of the year, despite her being 32 Crayons short of a 64 box. Both fringe Republicans’ massive hauls prove that white America loves some conspiracy theories and some mayonnaise-scented insurrectionists.

Never forget that it was both Hawley and Greene who fanned the flames of Trump’s rhetoric; both objecting to Biden’s electoral votes and continuing the lie that the election had been stolen from Trump.

And it appears that Trump loyalists are reaping the financial rewards of supporting that large orange charlatan.

CNN reports that “Hawley has been treated as a hero at GOP gatherings, including the Conservative Political Action Conference in Orlando, Fla., earlier this year, where he claimed he was standing up for ‘election integrity’ by objecting to the certification of electoral votes from states Biden won.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here. I’m gonna stand up for you,” he said then to a crowd of people who are not oppressed but desperately want to be.

Hawley and QAnon’s favorite QAren are proof of Trump’s lasting effect and they could prove to be America’s problem if they keep raising this kind of money.