What It Means To Be An 'Incel', Why Men Using This Label Were Banned From Reddit & Where They're Lurking Now

What Is An Incel? Why Men Identifying As Involuntarily Celibate Were Banned From Reddit & What They're Doing Now On 4chan & Discord
What Is An Incel? Why Men Identifying As Involuntarily Celibate Were Banned From Reddit & What They're Doing Now On 4chan & Discord

If you don't yet know the definition of an "incel," you were probably far from alone until yesterday, when 25-year-old Alek Minassian allegedly drove a rental van into a crowd of people in Toronto, killing 10 and injuring at least 14 others. Recent updates report that his victims are primarily women.

Just prior to the Toronto attack, Minassian posted this seemingly cryptic message on Facebook:

“Private (Recruit) Minassian Infantry 00010, wishing to speak to Sgt 4chan please. C23249161. The Incel Rebellion has already begun! We will overthrow all the Chads and Stacys! All hail the Supreme Gentleman Elliot Rodger!”

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That message is only mysterious, however, if you are not yet educated about incels, an underground online community of men now thriving on forums such as 4chan and Discord that first began identifying themselves as "involuntarily celibate" on Reddit via the now-banned subreddit r/Incels sometime around 2014.

Despite that ban, the incel presence online is far from having been eradicated, and it isn't one any of us should ignore or dismiss.

As we're all too aware, the Internet provides a home for anyone and everyone.

It doesn't matter what you look like. It doesn't matter what your interests are. It doesn't matter what you believe. If you are a human being in search of a community full of like-minded individuals to call your own, you can find one online. This is one reason the Internet so rich and wonderful, and of course, it's also part of the reason the Internet remains a truly frightening place.

Because for every community of jolly film lovers out there, there's sure to be a counter-community bent on inciting anger, hate speech, and far far worse.

And in November of 2017, Reddit, a site known for priding itself on connecting people with any communities they seek, shut down r/Incels, which had become one of their most popular subreddits.

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But if the group was so popular, and if it provided a community for people who needed one, why was it closed?

Here are 5 key facts explaining what being an "incel" means, why these men discussing involuntary celibacy on subreddit r/Incels were banned Reddit forever, and where they're lurking now.

1. The definition of an incel.

Incels are men who refer to themselves as being "involuntarily celibate", i.e., unable to attract romantic and/or sexual partners due to a lack of either wealth or genetically inherited good looks. From their perspective, all men can be categorized into one of two groups — "incels" or "Chads."

Chads, they explain, are "what incels are not: Charismatic, tall, good-looking, confident, muscular. [They] can be perceived as good or bad. It's a meme mostly."

In addition to these two foundational labels, incels have created their own insider language of sorts, and while the exact terms used vary to an extent between subgroups on different websites and apps, they have developed a wealth of established glossaries and cheat sheets to help newcomers to their clan become acclimated to life as an incel.

According to the "Rules, Terminology and FAQs" section on Incels.me:

"The following definitions avoid subjective terms (physical appearance for example) to separate users neatly.

  • Incel (Allowed): Person who is not in a relationship nor has had sex in a significant amount of time, despite numerous attempts.

  • Truecel (Allowed): Type of incel who hasn't ever had sex or been in a relationship, despite numerous attempts.

  • Mentalcel (Allowed): Type of incel whose reason for failure in relationships/sex is related to mental illness or major insecurities. [1]

  • Volcel (Allowed): Person who, for various reasons, is abstinent and does not engage in sex.[1]

  • Blackpilled (Conditional): Person who is none of the above but has a blackpilled mentality. [1]

  • Female (Not Allowed): Banned on sight, no exceptions.

  • Fakecel (Not Allowed): Person who claims to be incel but has recently had sex or been in a relationship.

[1] Bragging of any sort, including humble-bragging, WILL constitute a heavy warning or ban. Keep your successful romantic and sexual experiences to yourself, even if they happened a long time ago."

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2. The darkest aspects of this community are rooted in the "black pill" ideology.

Many Incels hold firmly to the so-called "black pill" ideology, essentially a more extreme version of the "red pill" ideology which suggests women are attracted to men who are considered "genetically superior."

As explained on Incels.me:

"The Redpill is an ideology based on trying to win the game that is seduction and interactions in general, implying there are a set of rules and methods that one can use to maximize their odds, almost methodically with enough practice.

The Blackpill is the ideology that the game is rigged from the start, that being attractive is far more important than personality or techniques. It can be extended to the idea that there is little to no benefit in playing at all if you were dealt a bad hand in terms of appearence [sic].

The Bluepill is what the red and black aren't; the ideology that 'what's inside' is what counts, and that being yourself is the best way to conduct yourself in life."

People who adhere to the black pill school of thought believe they have seen the true nature of reality, and that in doing so they've learned that life is simply stacked against them.

They believe have no chance of ever attracting a woman, because women are designed by nature to reject them, and because there is no fighting any of this, they must accept the "truth" that they will never have the experience of enjoying a loving, long-term relationship.

3. The original subreddit r/Incels.

The r/Incels subreddit began at some point around 2014 as an off-shoot of another subreddit, r/foreveralone. Though it has since been shut down by Reddit, for approximately five years this forum provided a safe space where incels could share their most painful stories about romantic rejection by women.

The subreddit became increasingly well known for presenting views of women many found offense at best, misogynistic and disturbing at worst. Posts with titles like, "reasons why women are the embodiment of true evil" and “proof that girls are nothing but trash that use men” began making the rounds, and were brought to the attention of the folks behind the scenes at Reddit.

In 2014, 22-year-old Elliot Rodger (the man to whom Minassian gave praise) shot and killed 6 people and injured 14 others at the University of California at Santa Barbara (UCSB) in Isla Vista, CA, before shooting himself dead in his car. Rodger's crime made national news, and when it was learned that he identified as an incel, attention on the group intensified.

In 2017, a petition calling for r/incels to be banned for inciting violence against women began to circulate, citing increasingly violent posts about women — or as incels call them, "femoids" and "Stacies" — including threads advocating for rape.

The last straw for Reddit, however, actually had nothing to do with violence against women. To the contrary, r/Incels was shut down for good following the creation of a post titled, "My roommate is suicide fuel," in which the original male poster complained about his male roommate, who had a girlfriend and of whom he said, "He is a better human being than me in every way."

The advice he received from his fellow incels? Why, castrate the man, of course!

Now rape threats are one thing, but to threaten another male with castration? THAT Reddit could not and would not stand for.

Away they went.

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4. Incels remain active on Reddit regardless of the ban.

While the original r/Incels group was banned, several other subreddits that have become a home for the approximately 40,000 men who were displaced in the process. Some are obvious and easy to find, while others are not.

One of the less obvious subreddit homes to these men is called r/truerateme. This purports to be a forum where men and women can get an honest rating of their looks, but many suspect it to be an incel-led project. What's worse, one redditor shared the following on r/IncelTears:

"Truerateme have another public social platform chatroom Discord where they do not hold back and attack people's appearances. On there, people (INCLUDING the truerateme mods) participate in extreme bullying that involves encouraging suicide, racism, doxxing and posting insecure females. Every single person who has posted on truerateme (especially females) gets brought up on the chat and targeted on there. More specifically, females get targeted and humiliated. Even those who haven't ever publicly posted their own pics get doxxed too. One of many examples: morphing people's photos, posting instagram links, trolling. Over 10+ different females have personally told me that r/truerateme have stolen their photos from their facebook or instagram and posted on that sub or Discord posing as them."

Additionally, subreddits like r/Braincels have cropped up "to be a fresh, creative environment for involuntary celibates to hang out and partake in fulfilling conversation," and while no one knows, it's hard to imagine others won't appear over time as well.

5. Incels have found safe haven in places like 4chan and Discord.

Men dedicated to the incel cause insist that they will not be deterred from telling their story. In addition to Reddit and Incels.me, groups of incels are popping up like wild mushrooms on the infamous home of everything dregs-of-the-Earth, i.e., 4chan, as well as on the increasingly popular app Discord, originally designed for gamers, but quickly running neck-and-neck against 4chan in the race to collect all of the worst people ever born.

As stated by a YouTuber known as Glink:

"The incel community has been ostracized by the internet, they are a collection of involuntarily celibate men who are often frustrated with life, women, and the lack of companionship. This video chronicles their various communities, websites, well known figures, and weird occurrences within them."

Updated to add: As of Tuesday, April 24, the group had been removed from Discord and were quickly scrambling to find a new, more secure home, possibly on yet another controversial message board, 8chan.

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Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. She hosts the love and dating advice show, Becca After Dark on YourTango's Facebook Page every Tuesday and Thursday at 10:15 pm Eastern. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.

Keywords: celibacy, men, reddit, definitions, celibate, slang

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