Matt Damon Gets Belligerent as Brett Kavanaugh on SNL
In the cold open for the season premiere, SNL tackled Brett Kavanaugh's confirmation hearings, which was probably an easy bet for most people to win. But they pulled out some surprising twists and managed to amp up the already insane energy of Kavanaugh and the Republican senators furiously trying to stroke his ego. Like Chuck Grassley, who introduced the nominee by saying, "We've heard from the alleged victim, but now it's time to hear from the hero, Judge Brett Kavanaugh, who I'm told has been shadow-boxing in the men's room for the last 45 minutes."
In strolls Matt Damon, which is easily the most generous casting decision the show could have given Kavanaugh up until he opens his mouth and just screams, "WHAT!?" Damon flashes between angry shouting and nearly sobbing throughout the performance, which is only a notch or two above Kavanaugh's actual speech:
Now I am usually an optimist. I'm a "keg is half full" kind of guy. But what I've seen from the MONSTERS on this committee makes me wanna PUKE and not from beer. Dr. Ford has no evidence. None. Meanwhile I've got these. I've got these calendars. These beautiful, creepy calendars. About lifting weights with P.J. and Squee and Donkey Dong Doug. But you don't care about Squee or Donkey Dong Doug, do ya? You just wanna humiliate me in front of my wife and my parents and Alyssa friggin' Milano. Well guess what? I'm not backing down, ya sons of bitches. I don't know the meaning of the word "stop." To quote my hero, Clint Eastwood's character in Gran Torino, "Get the hell off my lawn!" Now let's do this.
But the masterstroke comes when it's Lindsay Graham's turn to question, and Kate McKinnon herself stepped into yet another prosthetic chin for the role. And she brings the perfect mix of televangelist and furious toad to depict Graham's shouting fit:
I know I'm supposed to shut up, because I'm a single white male, 5'10", uncut. But I will not shut up because this is a bunch of C-R-A-P crap! This ain't no trial. This ain't no due process. You know what this is Judge Kavanaugh? Do you know what this is? This is HELL.
