A Man Found A Live Frog In His Boxed Lettuce, And Instead Of, Like, Suing The Company, He Decided To Roll With It And Keep The Little Guy As A Pet

Oh, do I have a great story to tell you.

  Jive
Jive

It all starts with boxed lettuce.

  Oxana Medvedeva / Getty Images/iStockphoto
Oxana Medvedeva / Getty Images/iStockphoto

We know it.

A woman smiling at the camera as she peruses the different lettuces at the grocery store
Nosystem Images / Getty Images

We love it.

An older woman enjoying a salad
Tetra Images / Getty Images/Tetra images RF

It just makes you want to sit cross-legged on a table laughing alone maniacally.

A woman sitting cross-legged on top of a dining room table smiling and eating a salad
Lwa / Getty Images

But what would you say if I told you that a man from Oklahoma found a frog — yes, a live frog — in his boxed lettuce and it blossomed into a beautiful story like Homeward Bound minus the trauma?

Fox

Because it's true. It happened!

Fox

Our story involves Oklahoma gay of note Simon Curtis.

Simon wearing a baseball cap and taking a mirror selfie

Simon is a recording artist/songwriter/actor/author. He wrote a book for queer kids called Boy Robot. And he also has impeccable taste in music, but that's just a personal (but accurate) opinion!

Twitter: @simoncurtis

Once upon a time, like last week, Simon found a little green frog in his boxed lettuce.

Unsure of what to do, he did what any gay of note would do: He asked Twitter for advice.

He put him back in the container and named him Tony.

The two immediately hit it off. He was Simon's little "starter Pokémon."

They were fast friends.

And eventually, Simon identified Tony as a green tree frog.

He bought him worms to eat.

He got him a mason jar lid for a makeshift bath.

And eventually upgraded him to a temporary little orange home.

Tony and Simon were a match made in the Whole Foods salad section.

It was a Christmas miracle.

And Tony was officially a member of the family.

But still, a decision about what was in Tony's best interest was looming.

Simon was okay with keeping him as a pet, but only if it was the right thing to do.

You see, when Simon was 10, he had leukemia and his favorite stuffed animal in the hospital was none other than...a green frog.

So little Tony meant a little more to him.

A closeup of Tony chilling on a piece of lettuce

After talking with a professional about it, Simon decided his best plan of action was to keep Tony as a pet.

So, that's exactly what Simon did.

Tony is a star now.

From here:

To here:

Who doesn't love a salad box to riches story?

The end.