I’m Fully Obsessed With the Theory That [SPOILER] Is the Penguin on ‘The Masked Singer’

From Cosmopolitan

UPDATE: The Penguin has been revealed and it’s Sherri Shepherd! Keep scrolling for the piles and piles of evidence that she was under that beak.

Some personal news: I belong to The Masked Singer now. It’s been a long and alarming road, and suffice it to say I can no longer eat eggs, but I’ve come to realize what we all should have realized by now: The Masked Singer is the greatest show of all time. Like, sure, I’m not not convinced it isn’t secretly an elaborate government experiment (the new MK-Ultra, if you will), but whatever. All that matters now is the Penguin. Also known as this waddling lil fella:

It remains to be seen which emotionally damaged celebrity is lurking inside this flightless bird, but we have some theories to go over, mmkay? Sorry in advance for the images you won’t be able to unsee!

The Clues

Thanks to one of the more frightening clue packages this show has forced me to watch, we know the Penguin is “incredibly expressive” and has been told her entire life that she’s not pretty, smart, or funny enough—plus, it’s clear she’s hit a few career bumps. The Penguin also says she’s “not your secretary,” doesn’t need a “permission slip” to be herself, and notably has a photo of Queen Rania of Jordan on her vanity.

The Theories

1. Sherri Shepherd

Fans seem to think the Penguin is Sherri due to her career ups and downs and the fact that she worked as a legal ~secretary~ before transitioning into show biz. Plus, she wrote a book called Permission Slips.

On top of that, there’s a “Jesus came first” sign in the Penguin’s clue video, and Sherri’s super religious. Oh, and that picture of Queen Rania on the vanity? Sherri’s 30 Rock character had a fake show called Queen of Jordan. Like, guys. C’mon. It’s her.

2. Tonya Harding

Not sure about this one, but a lot of fans are getting Tonya Harding vibes from the Penguin. And frankly, Tonya emerging from a bird mask would make this entire show worth it. Plus, keep in mind that we do see the phrase “Penguin Career on Ice” in the clue package!

3. Any given Glee star

Okay, here’s the thing: Apparently, music from Glee is heavily featured in the Penguin’s introduction video. Which naturally has fans thinking it’s a former star of the show, although the verdict is still out about who.

4. Raven-Symoné

A lot of people think Raven-Symoné is the Black Widow, but others firmly believe she’s too short and a better fit for our feathered friendo:

5. Tamar Braxton

This one is mostly based on singing and not clues, but some fans (who clearly have no idea what they’re talking about) think Tamar is the Penguin. Guess I’ll do them a solid by even giving this theory the time of day:

[poll id='e6f44f5a-3e7a-4e41-bacf-8770b0bf045c_dead1004a4eca' type='text' question='Is it Tamar?' answer1='Um, yes, wow.' answer2='No.']

6. Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Look, I know. Okay? I. KNOW. This theory is insane. But that hasn’t stopped some people on Twitter from being convinced that one of television’s greatest comedians took a break from polishing her Emmys to appear on The Masked Singer, so here we freakin’ are.

FYI, we’ll be updating this once we find out who the Penguin is, so prepare your life accordingly.

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