'I’m An Abortion Doula—Here’s Why I'll Continue To Fight For Women'
The word "doula" is often associated with giving birth. But doulas exist to help women going through abortions, too. I should know: I’ve been a volunteer abortion doula since 2017 and help provide emotional support to people before, during, and after receiving an abortion.
As an abortion doula, my job is to help the patient stay as calm as possible. I do this by talking to the patient, helping them visualize peaceful things, and putting a hand on their shoulder, if they wish. If you’re holding your muscles tight and are tense during the process of having an abortion, it may cause more pain or make the process more difficult. So, I’m there to help encourage people to breathe and to hold their hand. I'm also sworn to maintain confidentiality, which is why I'm not going into great detail about any of my clients.
In my day job, I'm a lawyer. I live in Washington, D.C., and volunteer for the DC Doulas for Choice Collective. I started out as an abortion doula when I lived in Philadelphia. I was a law student at the time and I got involved in reproductive rights because there were attempts at the time to pass some intense abortion restrictions in the state. So, I became trained and volunteered regularly to help people going through this intense experience.
People that are pregnant and can become pregnant are treated so unjustly.
That relates to abortion, maternal healthcare, and the terrible maternal mortality rates that we have in this country. Case in point: There were 23.8 deaths among American women for every 100,000 live births in 2020, according to the most recent data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)—and those numbers are on the rise. The maternal health crisis also disproportionately impacts Black women, who have a shocking maternal mortality rate of 55.3 per 100,000.
I see the issues as a whole but I also see it on a personal level. I've supported friends and family members who have gotten abortions. And I was raised seeing abortion as a moral good. My parents have always framed abortion as something that should be up to the pregnant person and have discussed the importance of making your own choices about medical decisions that involve your body.
Our collective has relationships with two clinics in the D.C., Maryland, and Virginia area, and we each have three- to four-hour shifts lined up every month to help. As a doula, you sign up for a particular shift. And while you’re at that clinic, you can offer support to patients who happen to be there during your shift. And it's super-important for us to maintain patient confidentiality.
People from all walks of life get abortions.
We get a lot of people who come in who already have children. I will typically walk into the room, let them know what a doula is and what support we provide, like offering up reminders to breathe and holding their hands, if they're comfortable with that.
I've seen a lot of different patients, and no patient is the same. But one whose story has stuck with me came in feeling a lot of shame about getting abortion. This patient opened up about how, even though they felt the decision was the best for them, they felt a lot of pressures from their family and community, who were largely against abortion.
While I try to remove as much stigma as I can from abortion care, I also recognize that I'm there with a patient for a brief time and that ultimately, they will continue to face the stigma from our society. I spoke with the patient about their feelings and made clear that I was there to support them—and not judge them. They were nervous, but they got through the procedure and said afterward that they felt relieved. They were also thankful that I was there for them, even though I was a stranger to them before they walked through the clinic's doors.
A lot of people are nervous while waiting for the procedure to begin.
If they already have children, they’ll often bring them up while they’re talking. I’ll usually ask if there are things they’re doing later that day or week to take care of themselves and a lot will bring up spending time with their kids or family.
It’s helpful for a lot of people to have an abortion doula present during the entire process because they may not have a support person there. They may have had a friend who drove them to the clinic but they don’t feel comfortable having them be back there for the actual procedure. So, just being there for someone can be really helpful.
Once the doctor comes in, they explain to the patient how things will work and then get the patient ready for the procedure. From there, it’s a lot of support. I remind the patient to breathe and offer to provide physical support like touching their shoulder or holding their hand if they’re comfortable with that.
Everyone reacts differently.
Most of the patients that we see are fairly early on in their pregnancy. Typically, they’re not put under. They get pain medication and numbing medication as well, but they’re awake for the procedure.
Everyone reacts differently. Some have a lot of anxiety around the medical procedure itself and some may have concerns about the decision itself. Sometimes your role is just helping people talk through things.
After the procedure, people are taken to a recovery room for a fairly short amount of time. I’ve had some patients who the experience was a bit harder for them—they’ve wanted to talk a bit more in the recovery room. But for others, they’re OK just sitting there and being alone.
Ever since Roe v. Wade was overturned, a wave of new volunteers have stepped up.
Because I live in the D.C. area, where abortion is considered a legal right, things have not shifted much with my work after Roe v. Wade was overturned. I haven’t had any patients explicitly bring it up to me.
But there definitely has been a change in volunteering. We have gotten many new requests for people to train with us. Typically, we get a few requests a week, but when big things like this happen, we see a few doulas-in-training per day. We're currently training another new set of doulas soon to help meet the needs that we have for care.
I worry things will get worse for patients.
We have a lot of patients who struggle to get into the clinic to begin with because of how much it costs to get an abortion, being able to find an appointment, and the obstacles of getting time off of work for the procedure. I worry things will get worse as more people come from other areas to get an abortion—and it gets harder for patients to find availability to have the procedure done.
Even outside of everything that’s happened lately, there have been so many obstacles for so long to care for people that haven’t had the means to have an abortion. There will be more hoops to jump through for people who don’t live in our area—and a lot more demand.
Patients have told me that they feel isolated and vulnerable while going through this. Abortion is very stigmatized in our society and people can often feel that when they seek an abortion. It can be a powerful thing to be with someone and say, “I’m here for you and I’m standing with you in this moment.”
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