As soon as it was announced that Kim Kardashian West collaborated with her younger half-sister-slash-makeup company mogul Kylie Jenner on a new collection of four lipsticks, fans started clamoring for swatches of the nude-hued liquid lipsticks. Kim finally delivered on Tuesday, posting a photo of goopy, streaky swatches of each of the four shades on Twitter. It's a straightforward enough picture, but for some reason, it confused the hell out of some people. That's because, according to Teen Vogue, folks on the internet confused Kim Kardashian West's liquid lipsticks with bacon.
This confusion begs the very sincere question: Do beauty gurus know what bacon looks like?
I can kind of understand how pinky, brown streaks of some viscous, glossy material could maybe kind of look like bacon-if you squint and hold your phone about three feet from your face. And in defense of the confused, Kim's photo, though artful, doesn't exactly provide a ton of context for what's happening. It's just streaks of bacon-y colors on a white background.
But lipstick does not look like bacon, especially not these swatches of lipstick. I mean, where are the white streaks of fat, marbling the meat? From what I understand, the lip kits smell like vanilla, which is like the exact opposite smell of bacon.
And sure, I can admit that colors of these streaks are closer to that of raw bacon rather than the browner crisped, cooked strips, but raw bacon doesn't have the same glossiness as a Kylie Jenner Lip Kit (which is undoubtedly a trademarked phrase), no matter what anyone says. Kylie's signature packaging with the drips are nowhere near as delicious as drops of bacon fat. And it's definitely not sizzling.
Am I crazy? Or maybe the beauty gurus are so unhinged that they can't tell the difference between breakfast food and makeup. Lipstick is not bacon, even if it's the same colors as bacon. Bacon is not lipstick, unless you really try hard enough and figure out some way to make the most of that grease. At least there are still some beauty gurus who can tell the difference.
@KimKardashian Why did I think these looked like streaks of bacon when I seen them- Gareth_Trueman (@Gareth_Trueman) April 25, 2017
But keep an eye out for Kim Kardashian-West-slash-bacon-inspired lip art. I'm sure it's coming any day now.