Kiana Ledé knows she's toxic, but she's working on it

kiana lede press photo
Kiana Ledé. Jenna Marsh
  • Kiana Ledé spoke to Insider about "Big Femme Energy," the first all-female compilation album.

  • Ledé contributed the fifth track, "Cut 'Em Off," a sizzling R&B ode to boundaries and self-worth.

  • The singer-songwriter also teased her sophomore album, which will reflect her growth this past year.

  • Visit Insider's homepage for more stories.

Kiana Ledé was scrolling through her own hashtag on TikTok when she came across a video titled "Top 5 Toxic Girl Songs."

In the clip, the creator counts down her first three picks by Ella Mai, SZA, and Ariana Grande before crowning Ledé with both top spots: "If You Hate Me" at No. 2 and "Attention" at No. 1.

"I was like, 'Damn, I didn't realize how f---ing toxic I was!'" she said recently over Zoom, cracking up.

If the divine plan for 2020 was change and self-reflection, Ledé's guardian angels took the assignment seriously.

The 24-year-old singer-songwriter released her long-awaited debut album, "Kiki," at the dawn of lockdown; went through a breakup; entered a new serious relationship. As the world churned cruelly outside, her career and personal life did the same.

"I've learned a lot about myself," Ledé told Insider. "I'm definitely toxic in my own ways, but I'm growing. It's not a jealous, angry kind of toxic. It's an emotional kind, wanting attention."

"I've also realized that I need somebody to bring out the best in me, not bring out those sides of me," she said. "We all have insecurities because when you go deeper, there are these characteristics that we probably want to hide from the people that we're with. But they get highlighted when we're with the wrong person."

Luckily, one side effect of finding venom in your brain is being able to recognize the same danger in others.

Ledé's newest song, "Cut 'Em Off," is a sizzling ode to boundaries - knowing when the final line has been crossed, even if it's invisible to others, and having the strength to walk away.

"That specific song was encouraging myself to be that way in a relationship because I felt taken advantage of. I felt like I was made to look like a fool," she explained.

"I've always told my boyfriends, 'There's not many rules I have about this relationship. I'm really chill. I'm not really jealous. I know I'm a good girlfriend. But my only rule is to not make me look like a fool. When you do that, it's time to go.'"

Ledé, whose father is Black and Native American and whose mother is Mexican and Native American, said these boundaries are particularly important to encourage for women of color.

"People are very quick to dismiss our pain, dismiss our knowledge, dismiss our wisdom, dismiss our experiences," she said. "There's a misconception that women can put up with more and tolerate more, and not in a healthy way."

'Cut 'Em Off' is Ledé's contribution to a first-of-its-kind all-female compilation album

"Big Femme Energy Volume 1," released earlier this month, is the first all-female compilation album that's not connected to a movie soundtrack.

The ambitious 11-song collection was helmed by Femme It Forward, a female-led music and entertainment company, and distributed by Stem, a female-led payments platform that's designed to empower independent artists. The tracklist features artists like Tierra Whack ("Who Knew"), Tayla Parx ("Mother Nature"), and Rapsody ("Iconic").

"I'm someone who's really, really, really down for women, R&B women, Black women specifically, women of color," Ledé said. "As soon as I heard there was going to be an album full of all of those things that I love, that I champion, there was no way I was going to say no. It was the perfect opportunity."

Ledé's empowered, intensely collaborative spirit was born despite a rocky, highly competitive introduction to Hollywood. After winning Kidz Bop's annual talent contest at just 14 years old, Lede was signed to RCA Records - but has said she received no advance or material support, and was ultimately dropped from the label.

"I've definitely experienced sexism and racism, especially because I started at such a young age," she told Insider. "I've had some crazy s--- told to me, happen to me, and I've had to prove myself more than a man or more than a white woman."

By 21, Ledé had signed a new contract with Republic Records, starred on the second season of MTV's "Scream," and landed on Billboard's Emerging Artists chart thanks to her breakout single "Ex," which has since gone platinum.

All the while, Ledé has knitted herself ever more intimately into supportive spaces for sexual, complicated - and, yes, sometimes toxic - female musicians.

She landed a song on the hit "Fifty Shades Freed" soundtrack, and then Ariana Grande's mostly-female curation for "Charlie's Angels." She's collaborated with the likes of Ari Lennox, Queen Naija, and now Kehlani, whom Ledé named as her dream feature during our interview.

Her discography feels like a direct rebuttal to the "Mean Girls" vision of women: catty, vicious, inherently at odds. In fact, Ledé said she generally "makes sure" there's at least one other woman in the studio with her.

"Most of the time that's the other writer, because we can relate on a lot more levels than a man, or at least a straight man," she explained. "I like to feel comfortable. I like to feel like I can really speak my mind and be truly open - and also make sure that story is not going to be taken. I've definitely had that backstab and betrayal from dudes."

Ledé is hard at work on her sophomore album, which she hopes to release before the end of this year

The songstress said she has some "surprising and amazing" collaborations in store, including "Ur Best Friend" with Kehlani, released on Friday as her new album's lead single.

"I want this to be the most powerful album that I've made," she said. "I know who I am in this moment."

"It's been really hard for me to acknowledge that everything is temporary. Feelings are temporary," she mused. "That's why I say I know myself within this moment, because we're always growing. We're always changing."

Ledé described her 2020 debut "Kiki" as a coming-of-age album, letting her fans ride shotgun as she sped down a winding path. Now, she's ready to reveal more of her core.

"All of us have kind of sifted through what sticks in our lives," she said of quarantine. "We only had such a limited time to explore, go outside, talk to people and get to know people in person. I definitely learned what deserves my attention, my energy, and my time."

"There's still some emo songs for sure, but there's a part of me that I've been hiding and that I've never felt secure in," she added, grinning. "I'm feeling much more secure in the part now, and that's what the world is going to see."

Read the original article on Insider