Kelly Clarkson Says She's Done 'Trying to Please Everyone' When It Comes to Her Weight

Kelly Clarkson says she’s learned to shrug off commenters who make digs about her weight.

Clarkson tells Redbook in the magazine’s new cover story that she receives flak no matter what size she is, explaining, “They shame you for it. Same thing happened with Miranda Lambert — I had dinner with her and we were talking about that.”

“She was like, ‘Should I gain? Should I lose?’ ” continues Clarkson.

And the commentary isn’t pegged to concern over personal wellness, she notes. “No one actually cares about your health,” says the songstress. “They just care about aesthetics. It’s when I’m fat that I’m happy.”

“People think, Oh, there’s something wrong with her. She’s putting on weight,” adds Clarkson, 35. “I’m like, ‘Oh, no! I’m sorry, but that represents happiness in my emotional world.’ ”

Kelly Clarkson
Kelly Clarkson

In fact, Clarkson says she’s usually “not doing well” when she’s “skinny.”

Says the star: “If you gauge your life on what other people think, you’re going to be in a constant state of panic trying to please everyone. People should just concentrate on their own lives and their own health and their own happiness, and whatever that looks like for you, be happy with it.”

The “Love So Soft” singer has been candid about body image before, telling PEOPLE earlier this month that while she’s “never felt the need to be a certain weight,” there have been moments of insecurity, including a battle with bulimia in her teens.

“Even on American Idol I was really thin, but I was bigger than the other girls on the show, so people would say things to me,” the singer told PEOPLE. “But luckily I am super confident, so I’ve never had a problem with shutting people down and saying, ‘Yeah, you know, that’s just what I’m rocking. It’s fine.’ ”

Kelly Clarkson
Kelly Clarkson

Clarkson — whose new album, Meaning of Life, was released in October — also opens up to Redbook on keeping romance alive with husband Brandon Blackstock.

“To keep it family appropriate, let’s say we’re just a lot more active than other couples,” she admits of the couple’s sex life after four years of marriage. “I’m a person who loves change. He loves spontaneity. Having a set time or place [to have sex] would be boring to us.”

She continues, “When I met Brandon, I wasn’t looking for a friend. I have a lot of great friends! I was looking for a lover. I had never found someone I was truly passionate about, who I wanted to stay in bed with all day. The fact that I did, well…I was going to latch on and take advantage of that.”