I Just Saw The Trailer For "Killing County" — Which Is About My Hometown — And I'm Embarrassed, Frustrated, And Not The Least Bit Surprised

Note: This article contains mention and video of a police interaction currently under investigation, which may be hard for some to view.

I've been obsessed with true crime shows for a while, but I was too stunned to speak when I saw the trailer for Colin Kaepernick's new series, Killing County.

The Bakersfield arch sign over a two-way road
Lpettet / Getty Images/iStockphoto

The three-part documentary concentrates on the failures and misdeeds of law enforcement in Bakersfield, California — my hometown. It's a crisis I understand all too well.

A promo image for the documentary which features a map showing Bakersfield and a bullet placed on top
ABC

To give you some insight into the documentary, Kaepernick broke it down into three simple, but devastatingly true, statistics.

Years back, as a closeted queer Black kid, I tried to ignore all the dangers associated with growing up in Bakersfield.

Chiron and Kevin from "Moonlight" sitting on the beach
Courtesy Everett Collection

But the death of Tyre Nichols and the ongoing conversation about police brutality urged me to face every moment of this trailer. Every passing second seemed to bring up memories that left me sad, frustrated, and embarrassed to call this place home.

Cut off newspaper heading reads "For 55 police officers... shootings, it wasn't"

The trailer opens with Colin warning, "This is one of the most powerful projects I've ever been involved with."

Colin Kaepernick says, "this is one of the most powerful projects I've ever been involved with"

So, I braced myself for what was to come.

ABC

Then a woman says, "I knew the homicide rate in Bakersfield was high. I didn't really know what that meant. Until I got here."

Even when I reflect on my best memories from Bakersfield, my mind can't help but simultaneously think about stories of violence and murder that plagued the community. Stories I heard about but also experienced firsthand.As children, you hear so many cautionary tales and are told which dangerous neighborhoods to avoid. For children with brown skin, like me, you are taught how to survive an interaction with police.

Next, we're told Bakersfield has "the deadliest law enforcement in the country per capita" as the screen pans across a 2015 article from the Guardian investigating the police force.

I came from a complicated world. Members of my family were law enforcement, and we are Black. I didn't want to believe the statistics because it spelled danger for us from all sides.

I came from a complicated world. Members of my family were law enforcement, and we are Black. I didn't want to believe the statistics because it spelled danger for us from all sides.

ABC

Then, a narrator, over a hauntingly slowed down version of Dwight Yoakam's "Streets of Bakersfield," says that Bakersfield has "the highest rate of officer-involved deaths than anywhere in the country."

People protesting police violence from movie "Monsters and Men"

When I'm forced to see another unarmed person murdered by law enforcement overwhelming the news cycle, I'm immediately transported back to my worst memories of Bakersfield — as the trailer describes, "where more than a couple of bad officers" reside.

Two cops standing over four young men sitting on the ground from "Fruitvale Station"

Killing County is a reminder that the violent history of the policing of people in the United States is not just a news headline or political hot topic. For many of us, it's our reality.

A Bakersfield police car blocking traffic
Frederic J. Brown / AFP via Getty Images

Here's the trailer. The show premieres on Feb. 3, and I'll be watching — not because it will be entertaining, but because it's important.