Judd Apatow Went In On Tom Cruise At The 2023 DGA Awards, And He Pulled Zero Punches

Judd Apatow, aka the executive producer of my favorite guilty pleasure, HBO's Girls, went in on Tom Cruise with the jokes — and they were brutal.

On February 18, while hosting the 75th Directors Guild of America Awards, Judd came for the Mission: Impossible superstar, poking fun at everything from his parenting, mental health, and height.

First, he took major jabs at Tom's size since he's famously 5'7". “The special effects in Top Gun: Maverick were so top-notch, I couldn’t even see the stack of phone books Tom Cruise sat on to reach the flight controls," he joked.

And he didn't stop there. Next, some of Tom’s more notorious public behavior. He asked the audience if they "remember when Tom Cruise jumped up and down on the couch" on The Oprah Winfrey Show and how it's nothing compared to his movies. “And now, he rides a motorcycle off a cliff and BASE jumps, and we’re all like, ‘Tom’s fine!'”

Oprah / ABC / Via media.giphy.com

“Tom is not fine. Someone needs to explain to him something called CGI. You’re 60. Calm down,” Judd added, shifting the conversation to Tom's religion. “But every time he does one of these new stunts, it does feel like an ad for Scientology. I mean, is that in Dianetics? Because there’s nothing about jumping off a cliff in the Torah.”

Just when you think he would lighten up on the Top Gun: Maverick actor, Judd took aim at his family life and medical opinions. “The only thing [Tom] seems to be afraid of is co-parenting and antidepressants," he said. “I doubled my Prozac today just for this. I doubled it! Do you think if Tom Cruise took antidepressants, he’d be like, ‘I’m not jumping off of a fucking cliff. I’m rich!'”

This isn't the first time Tom was the controversial punchline this year. Last month, during the 80th Golden Globes, host Jerrod Carmichael infamously joked about Tom's connection to Scientology. "Backstage, I found these three Golden Globe awards that Tom Cruise returned...I think maybe we take these three things and exchange them for the safe return of Shelly Miscavige."

For the rest of Judd's monologue, he finally moved off Tom and focused on other big names like directors James Cameron, Todd Field, and Steven Spielberg. Also, he poked fun at Austin Butler for "still talking like Elvis" and himself for his low viewership of his latest Netflix film, The Bubble.

Head over here to read about Judd's other jokes.