Jonathan Van Ness and Antoni Porowski Troll Shippers to Sell You Stuff

·2 min read

If you're familiar with the Queer Eye cinematic universe, you're probably also familiar with Jonathan Van Ness and Antoni Porowski flirting but not flirting—generating their own nonstop rumor mill and an online community of shippers who want/believe them to be together for real. Van Ness already has a husband, but he's not on TV, so who cares about that guy, right? 

Anyway, Jonathan Van Ness and Antoni Porowski both posted to social media on September 14, heavily implying that they were in a relationship. “Some personal news ❤ after years of joking about it, we’re finally together. Here’s to giving things a shot :),” Porowski wrote. “We’re finally together ❤️ Details tomorrow, but know that we’re very happy and feeling supported by the people around us 🏳️‍🌈,” wrote Van Ness. Except…psych! They're together in business. The business of “meal mix-ins for pets” called Yummers, which they announced the following day for “mini clarification.” 

Gee, you guys sure got us. 

I mean, I guess congrats to them that their obvious and slightly skeevy PR stunt worked in that we all know about Yummers now. But they also just alienated their entire target audience by being incredibly annoying about it. It's like getting a birthday present from a friend but when you open it, it's just an invitation to buy into their MLM. It's like getting invited to a baby shower and then the baby turns out to be a labradoodle named Muffin. 

Porowski wrote in the follow-up tweet, “Mini clarification - not life partners, *business* partners. Introducing our new company Yummers: meal mix-ins for pets! Mix a little into your pet's bowl each meal to add extra flavor, variety & nutrition into their diet.” Van Ness's tweet read, “Whoops, important clarification - we’re together in *business* BAYBIEZ! Introducing Yummers meal mix-ins for pets!”

It's not pet food and it's not pet treats; it's emotional manipulation that you stir into your pet's food bowl for no reason at all at $15 a bag. Because who doesn't love it when their favorite celebrities pretend to be in love to get you to buy into their vanity project business?

Great work, everybody.

Originally Appeared on Glamour