John Oliver Dances on Boris Johnson’s Political Grave

·3 min read

After celebrating his return from a month-long absence by brutally roasting Republican blowhard Josh Hawley, John Oliver returned to Last Week Tonight on Sunday and kicked things off by addressing the resignation of Prime Minister Boris Johnson, the buffoonish and Trumpian U.K. leader who announced his resignation on July 7 after a number of members of his own Conservative Party resigned from Parliament over his scandal-plagued administration.

“Boris Johnson finally stepped down earlier this month after succumbing to a series of scandals—and in doing so, he offered this inspiring farewell,” said Oliver.

A speech of Johnson’s was played where the floppy-haired lame duck announced, “I want you to know how sad I am to be giving up the best job in the world. But them’s the breaks.”

“Yeah, them’s the breaks,” cracked Oliver. “You know, sometimes you drive your country off a massive economic cliff for no reason; then attend a series of alcoholic bashes in violation of your own government’s COVID lockdowns; then promote a member of your own party [Chris Pincher] accused of sexual misconduct, later claiming that you didn’t know anything about it—only for it to turn out that that wasn’t true; and for much of your government to resign rather than continue working for you. You know, the breaks.”

One of the two remaining contenders for Johnson’s old gig is Rishi Sunak, a member of the Conservative Party who’s been busy wading around in culture-war muck attacking “woke nonsense”—as one does tends to do these days when they lack actual policy positions of note.

According to Oliver, Sunak is “an incredibly wealthy man who was educated at one of the most exclusive private schools in England—although it didn’t seem to successfully teach him what to do with his arms.”

The comic then threw to a clip of Sunak wildly gesticulating during a speech captured on what appeared to be an old phone camera.

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“What are you doing?!” exclaimed Oliver, mimicking Sunak’s arm-shaking. “What is it about rich people and hand movements? Sunak looks like he studied at the Zuckerberg School of Passing for a Human. And that’s not even a one-off. He moves his hands like that all the fucking time! And normally, you want your hands to support and accentuate what you’re saying, not to look like you’re in a boxing match with a hundred invisible mice!”

Then there’s Sunak’s rival conservative Liz Truss, who is equally awkward during speeches, has somehow left up a tweet praising the monstrous late pedophile Jimmy Savile, and, when asked on the BBC in 2019 about how many of the 200,000 new starter homes she promised to build in 2014 came to fruition, she stumbled before the host replied, “Well, it’s easy to remember: It’s zero. You built none.”

“Ouch!” exclaimed Oliver. “Not great there, Liz!”

“So, neither of the options for leader are good here, and the fact is, whoever wins will be inheriting a poisoned chalice,” he continued. “Boris Johnson, the man who both of them have spent years enabling, has broken a lot of shit that they will now have to clean up.”

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