Joe Gorga Vows to Do Stand-Up at Madison Square Garden: 'I'm Going to. One Day.'
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JOE GORGA, OF BRAVO'S Real Housewives of New Jersey fame, is a family man at heart. He’s spent a decade in the Housewives limelight, the husband of one–Melissa Gorga–and brother to another, Teresa Giudice. But after several years and television seasons of increasing drama, his extended family has fractured. At BravoCon in mid-October, castmate Jennifer Ayudin, a close friend of Giudice’s, threw a drink at Gorga in a hotel lobby, an event that was captured on bystanders’ camera phones and promptly disseminated to press.
The limelight comes with a fair amount of scrutiny, a fact which Gorga has grown accustomed to shouldering. He spoke with Men’s Health about how he keeps his relationship with his wife and children strong, the drink that keeps him going, and his recent foray into stand-up comedy for the premiere of his latest comedy special, The Amusing World of Joe Gorga, available on Nov. 11.
This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.
You joined Real Housewives of New Jersey a decade ago. How did how did it change your life?
How did it change my life? Oh my God. It made my life crazy. Everybody knows you. Everybody sees you. You become this public figure. It's great that people know you but it's also not, because you have no privacy. Everyone is in your business. Everybody talks about you and makes up all these rumors about you, and you have to have thick skin to be on a reality show or be out in the public because everyone takes everything out of context.
How do you stay mentally healthy? How do you handle haters?
You know, I am amazing at that because only a few people get under my skin. My dad always told me ‘when you make money, or you're successful at something, be ready because they’re always going to attack you. No matter what, you will always be the bad guy because you're succeeding.’ As a kid I knew that. As I got onto TV, all of a sudden you had your people that told you ‘you were great,’ and you had your people that told ‘you suck,’ and ‘you’re disgusting.’ ‘You stole money. You don't make money. You only make money because you're on The Housewives and your wife makes money.’
They really don't know your real life. They don’t know that I'm up at five o'clock in the morning and there's nights that I work till 10, 11 o'clock on a construction site, non-stop. They don't know that, but they assume things and they make up things.
It doesn't bother me because I know who I am. I am real. I'm as real as they get. I'm the most humble guy. I love life. I love my wife. I love my children. I love family. No matter what anyone says to me, it doesn't bother me because I know I have done the right thing. That's how I deal with all these haters. Because no matter what they say, nothing is true. I know who I am.
You're living through a very public disagreement with your family, which is extremely hard. How do you move forward from very public disagreements and very painful ones?
Public disagreements are huge. When it is public, you relive it, and people make it worse. It does fuel the fire. But I say it this way: if it was all fine and dandy and real without the public, and we were just normal, who cares what the public says, right? It's like how powerful my relationship is with my wife, right? We love each other. There could be rumors out there; it doesn't matter because we truly love and care for each other.
The best thing is to do is exactly what I said: Think positive. Love. Forgive and forget. Enjoy. Some people can't do that, so this is what happens. You live a sad life, you really do, with hate in your heart. That’s not the way to be.
Tell me what a typical day for Joe Gorga is like.
Typical day, I wake up at five o'clock in the morning. I'm a real estate developer. I build these large apartment buildings. I'm a workaholic. I'm on the site. Men start coming on the site at 7 a.m. I’m meeting engineers, architects, inspectors, early in the morning.
I run from site to site. There's like four big sites going on. I'm between all these sites, and I do bank meetings on new projects. I have a change of clothes in the truck. My life is pretty crazy. Sometimes when I'm filming TV between a dirty construction site… and then you have to go film a scene, so you rush home, you change real quick, you hit the scene maybe three to four hours, then you leave the scene, you put your work clothes back on and you're running back to each construction site. I can't even make it up.
The phone rings like a machine gun. I do comedy. In my stand-up act, I talk about how insane my life is; how my phone rings non-stop all day. I go one hundred miles a minute. It's non-stop.
What's one of the most important lessons you learned from your family? What has really stuck with you?
The most important thing is work hard and respect. Respect everybody and do the right thing. My father was always a worker. He was a laborer. He never owned his own business. He always, for his whole life, worked for somebody, and what he always taught me was you have to respect everyone that works for you or you work with. Treat everybody the right way. If you treat everybody with respect, you're gonna get back respect.
Work hard. If you want to go out and party ‘til four o'clock in the morning, the next day you’ve got to get up at six o'clock and go to work. He bred me that way, and that's how I am today. I could hang out all night, do a TV thing and work ‘til five o'clock in the morning but six o'clock in the morning, I’m leaving to go to work for construction. I've been doing TV now for… however long it's been, but I've never stopped doing what I do. Construction. No matter what. It doesn't matter if I'm sick. I could be dying, and I mean that—I’m up no matter what. I'm out of the house at five o'clock in the morning, and going to work.
What values feel most important for you to pass along to your children?
I'm going to say it again. I'm a football coach, and the value I tell everybody is you’ve got to work hard. No matter what it is, you’ve got to give it 100%. Because when you give it 100%, no matter what, it's gonna come through. You might not be the best running back, quarterback, but if you work hard, and you give it 100%, you will succeed. It's the same thing in business.
My youngest is twelve; I just had a talk with him the other night. I said, ‘This is your job. If you come to practice and you give it 100%, that's what's gonna happen when you get older in life, and you go have a job. If you take practice lightly, and you don't care and you cut corners, you will cut corners in your job and your life.’
This is what I try to instill in them: 100%. Give everything 100%, respect, and work.
What does success mean to you now?
Success is health. Freedom. I am the happiest person because I woke up this morning. As I got older, money doesn't mean anything to me anymore. I'm happy to just make enough money to be comfortable. As long as I can have enough money to live. Be happy, enjoy my family, create those memories, that's what's important.
How do you how do you keep your relationships with your wife and your kids strong?
Oh, that's very easy. My main thing in my life is not money, not fame, not anything but my family. I've made that very clear. I've been on reality TV now… a decade. I was myself. From day one, I put my wife on a pedestal. Eighteen years later, I have continued to put her on a pedestal [with] my children, because that's what's important to me.
How do you make it all work? How do you balance being a dad, husband, businessman, and entertainer?
Here’s how it works. I’m up at five o’clock in the morning. I do what I have to do at work. If I have to run to go do filming, I jump and do filming. My day is non-stop. Most of the time I'm running all day. I could tell you I take 50,000 steps a day because I'm non-stop. I'm moving and shaking.
Every minute of my day is something. Like if I’ve got to pick up my son from school because I’ve got to get him at wrestling practice, I'm there. I'm picking them up the day of the game, the wrestling match, or cheerleading. I don’t miss. If I can coach, I'm coaching.
In between, I'll set up a comedy show on a Tuesday night, a Wednesday night, a Thursday night. Occasionally; I'll do a Friday. I work during the week, so on the weekends I can spend it with my family.
How do you stay healthy? Do you have specific workouts?
I do. I work out. I don't have enough time to work out every day. My workout is just moving all day. If I have to unload a truck of material, I do it. That's my workout, constantly moving. I get to the gym at 5 a.m. Now, it's been twice a week. When I'm really training, I get there four to five [times a week]. Six months out of the year it's four or five, six months out of the year it's twice a week.
I fast. I’ll eat one meal a day, and that's it. Let's say I eat dinner at seven, eight o'clock at night. I won't have anything in my system except coffee until seven, eight o'clock the next day. I fast for 24 hours. I'm so busy, I don’t even think of food. I'm just moving and shaking and running.
I've trained my body. I’m 48 now. It took me 44 years to figure out my body. The fasting has been amazing for me. It works great, and it keeps me ripped.
What kind of coffee do you drink?
I’m a Dunkin’ Donuts guy. I drink about 4-5 cups a day. That’s what keeps me going because you know, when I get stressed out, I get tired. I go right to a coffee. That’s my breakfast, my lunch, my snack is my coffee. A medium regular, cream and sugar.
What's your favorite Italian meal?
My favorite Italian meal is a rigatoni arrabbiata. It's with spice in it; it's a red sauce. That's my favorite Italian meal pasta. That's my go-to.
What's next for you?
I'm going to do Madison Square Garden. I’m going to. One day. That’s my goal.
Next is just keep building these apartment buildings. I want to get bigger, build maybe a high rise. I just shoot for the skies, man. I want to one day perform in Madison Square Garden. I love it. It's exciting to me. It's a thrill. I love challenge. When I met my wife, she was a challenge. I keep my life as a challenge because it keeps me going. I need the challenge. If I don't get the challenge, I'm not excited. That's what keeps me going, my whole life.
What advice do you have for Men’s Health readers?
I want everybody to love. Put happiness in your mind and your heart every day, and you'll be happy and you'll love life. No matter what is happening in your life, think positive. Positive thoughts at all times. You'll feel much better and you'll be positive and you'll be happy in life. You'll be shocked at how good you feel.
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