Ben Affleck Reveals He Initially Asked Jennifer Lopez to Keep Their Relationship Off Social Media

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Before there were Marc Anthony and Alex Rodriguez, before Jennifer Garner and Ana de Armas, there was Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck.

Bennifer was the It couple of the early ’00s. Though the two went their separate ways in 2004, 17 years later they resurrected one of Hollywood’s favorite romances. After being spotted on multiple loved-up outings and at red carpet appearances together, they finally got married in 2023.

Ahead, we take a stroll down memory lane and track Ben and Jen’s relationship history, from how they met to the stunning pink diamond Affleck proposed with in 2002—and the new love story they’re creating now that they’re together again.

2001: They meet.

The Hollywood actors—then at arguably the height of their fame—first met on the set of 2003 rom-com Gigli. Not helped by its strange title (pronounced JEE-lee), the movie flopped, but sparks flew between the leading stars.

At the time, J.Lo was still married to her second husband, dancer Cris Judd; she and Affleck went public with their relationship soon after her divorce from Judd. (The divorce was finalized in 2003.)

In 2016, the actor and singer reflected on the beginning of her relationship with Affleck in an interview with People. “We didn’t try to have a public relationship,” she said. “We just happened to be together at the birth of the tabloids, and it was like ‘Oh my God.’ It was just a lot of pressure.”

She also revealed her first impression of Affleck. “I felt like … ‘Okay, this is it,’” she said. “[But] sometimes I feel like what you think people are and how you see them when you love them is different than when they reveal later.”

2002: Ben makes a cameo in “Jenny From the Block.”

The now-iconic music video features a steamy moment from Bennifer. With J.Lo in a hot-pink swimsuit and Affleck in a white tank, the lovebirds sunbathe on a boat while the Good Will Hunting writer and star lovingly engages in some PDA with J.Lo’s bottom (a part of her body the media obsessed over back then). The video also made tongue-in-cheek reference to the tabloids’ obsession with the relationship, including surveillance camera footage and pap photos of the two.

In 2010, J.Lo talked about the pressures the media put on their relationship during a guest appearance on The Graham Norton Show. “I love Ben, he’s a great guy, but it was a lot for both of us to be under that type of siege for two years straight,” she said. “We were on the cover of every magazine, every week, it was just a weird thing. … Our relationship, I think, did suffer because of that. That’s not the only reason … but I think it definitely played a part in the dynamic of our relationship.”

November 2002: They get engaged.

J.Lo confirmed the happy news in an interview with Diane Sawyer. “It’s the most magnificent thing I've ever seen,” she said of the 6.1-carat pink diamond from Harry Winston that Affleck gave her. The rock reportedly cost him $2.5 million.

2003: They star in another movie together.

J.Lo played the dead wife of Affleck’s character in Jersey Girl, a dramedy that was slated for a 2003 release, but got pushed to the following year. Also starring Liv Tyler, the film ultimately underperformed at the box office, grossing only $36 million.

September 2003: They postpone their wedding.

Days before the two were set to officially tie the knot, they released a joint statement announcing the ceremony’s postponement:

January 2004: Bennifer is over.

On January 22, 2004, the two ended their engagement. J.Lo confirmed the sad news through her spokesperson.

“I am confirming the report that Jennifer Lopez has ended her engagement to Ben Affleck,” the statement said at the time, per MTV. “At this difficult time, we ask that you respect her privacy.”

June 2004: J.Lo moves on.

In June of 2004, the “Let’s Get Loud” singer married singer-songwriter and longtime friend Marc Anthony. The two welcomed twins, daughter Emme Muñiz and son Max Muñiz, in 2008. They separated in 2014.

In her 2014 book, True Love, J.Lo reflected on the turbulent period between announcing her split from Affleck and marrying Anthony. “Ben and I split up at the moment when I thought we were committing to each other forever, it was my first real heartbreak, it felt like my heart had been torn out of my chest,” she wrote, per Page Six. “I sought out comfort in another person, tried to find someone who could make me feel loved and wanted in my loneliest hour. … Marc came back into my life three days after I should have been at the altar saying ‘I do’ to another man.”

She added that their romance may have been her attempt at a quick fix for her heartbreak. “Thinking back, maybe deep down I knew that this was a Band-Aid on the cut, that my wound hadn’t been stitched or healed,” she wrote. “But I pushed all that to the back of my mind. Because life takes unpredictable twists and turns, right? And you’ve just got to go with what you feel is best in the moment.”

2005: Ben marries Jennifer Garner.

Affleck, too, soon moved on. He married Garner in 2005, and the new Hollywood couple welcomed three children together over the years: daughters Violet and Seraphina Affleck, and son Samuel Affleck. The couple divorced in 2018.

April 2021: Bennifer reunites.

After J.Lo ended her engagement to Alex Rodriguez and Affleck split from Ana de Armas, the two were spotted hanging out again. Page Six reported on April 30 that Affleck was photographed visiting Lopez’s Los Angeles home multiple times.

“Security picks him up at a nearby location and drops him off after spending a few hours at her house,” said a source, who insisted on the platonic nature of Affleck’s visits. “They are friends,” the insider said. “They’ve never not been.”

May 2021: J.Lo and Ben jet off to Montana together.

Nearly two decades after they called it quits, Lopez and Affleck headed to Montana for a weeklong vacation. This followed their appearances together at Lopez’s L.A. mansion the day of their departure, and at Global Citizen’s Vax Live benefit concert, per People.

An insider confirmed the getaway to E! News.

“They really care for each other and they picked up right where they left off,” a source told E!

“[Jennifer] spent several days with Ben out of town,” another source added. “They have a strong connection. It’s all been quick and intense, but Jennifer is happy.”

“They have been in touch here and there throughout the years,” said an additional insider close to the singer. “Ben reached out to her to see how she was doing and they had dinner together a few times within this last month. It’s natural between them and the chemistry is unreal. They picked up where they last left off and are enjoying each other’s company right now.”

May 2021: Both Lopez and Affleck “seem committed” to each other.

People reported that Lopez and Affleck were determined not to let distance affect their reunion and that Lopez seemed to be in a good place following her recent split from Alex Rodriguez. “Jennifer is doing well. She seems very happy and excited about her future,” a source told the outlet.

According to People, the singer flew out to Los Angeles to spend more time with her former fiancé. “Jennifer was just in Los Angeles for a couple of days,” said the source. “She spent time with Ben. They have kept in touch every day since their Montana trip … It’s a tricky situation since they live so far from each other, but they both seem committed to making things work.”

Weeks later, Affleck also reportedly took a flight to J.Lo’s residence in Miami to spend more cozy, quality time with her. A separate source told E! News that Affleck’s demonstrated investment toward their rekindling romance amid both stars’ work obligations and coastal commutes had been nothing short of impressive to Lopez, even adding that such efforts by Affleck had made her feel “giddy.”

“It’s comforting to her and she is smitten,” said the insider. “They are giddy together and you can tell she’s really happy.”

“Ben has been making the effort to make it work with their schedules. He’s really making a huge effort,” the source added. “J.Lo thinks Ben has really stepped up and loves this version of him.”

June 2021: The pair are reportedly already thinking about their future.

Lopez and Affleck let fans know they were in it for the long haul. Per People, Bennifer began “slowly starting to talk about the future” a few months after their reunion.

“This is not a casual relationship,” a source said. “They are taking it seriously and want it to be long-lasting.”

The pair were also determined to make the long distance work, the source said. Affleck was based in Los Angeles at the time, while Lopez often worked out of Miami.

“They will continue to travel back and forth between Los Angeles and Miami,” the source said. “They are very happy together.”

June 2021: The pair are “hopeful” their relationship will work this time around.

Entertainment Tonight reported that Lopez and Affleck were feeling positive about their choice to romantically reunite.

“J.Lo and Ben are very much a couple and have been telling friends that they're together,” a source told the outlet. “When they first reconnected, they had to see if the spark was still there because it had been a while. It was, so now they are both fully in it.”

Apparently, the two had also talked through their past.

“[They] talked about the past and why things didn’t work out,” the source said. “They are both hopeful about their relationship this time around and putting the effort in. They have both matured and are on the same page and it has been easy.”

Unlike in Lopez’s relationship with Alex Rodriguez, this time around, the superstar opted to keep her professional and personal lives separate.

“J.Lo and A-Rod were always investing together and mixing business with their relationship, and Ben is less into that,” the source added. “They are just genuinely enjoying each other’s company and having a great time. Jen is very supportive of Ben and his career, but she is also connected, successful, and has her own life.”

July 2021: Their families are getting along “great.”

Lopez’s and Affleck’s families began to bond more, according to E! News. Following weeks of rendezvouses between the pair, Affleck finally joined Lopez and her children at a family birthday party, and the two brought their kids together for a trip to Universal Studios. Over the July 4 weekend, Affleck also joined Lopez and her teenaged twins for some “low-key” time at her Hamptons home.

“J.Lo and Ben seemed to enjoy being on the East Coast and spending time at her beautiful home,” a source told E! News. “It was a nice change of scene for them and a great time with friends and family.”

July 2021: Ben and Jennifer may be moving in together soon.

By now, Bennifer were moving full speed ahead with their romance. According to Entertainment Tonight, close friends of the pair said they “wouldn’t be surprised” if the rekindled power couple “move in together and ultimately end up together.”

“They’re spending all of their free time together and making each other a priority. J.Lo falls hard and has certainly done the same with Ben again this time around,” a source told ET. “Ben is a guy’s guy and does his own thing, which J.Lo loves. He has his own life and is famous in a different way than she is and is not trying to compete with her by any means. They just support and love each other.”

August 2021: Ben browses engagement rings with his mom and son.

In photographs obtained by Page Six, Affleck was seen glancing at engagement rings while popping by a Tiffany & Co. jewelry store at a local shopping mall. Affleck was joined by his son, Samuel Affleck, and his mother, Chris Boldt, for the shopping excursion. The actor’s outing came after spending more time not just with Lopez, but with her children and his, as they slowly worked to blend their families.

“Since Jennifer and Ben are in it for the long run, it’s just a natural step that they all spend time together with the kids,” a source told People.

April 2022: They get engaged (again)!

In an exclusive video published in her personal fan newsletter, Lopez announced that she and Affleck had gotten engaged, a year after reuniting. Per People, the video featured Lopez beaming as she showed off her new engagement ring—an emerald-cut, pale green diamond. Fans also quickly took to social media sharing the news and congratulating Bennifer 2.0.

In addition to posting a teaser clip with the caption “Major Announcement!!!!” Lopez also added a diamond ring emoji to her Twitter name.

April 2022: J.Lo reveals the romantic, intimate way that Ben proposed.

In a new edition of her newsletter, On the JLo, Lopez revealed that Affleck proposed to her for the second time while she was taking a bubble bath.

“Did you ever imagine your biggest dream could come true?” she wrote. “Saturday night while at my favorite place on earth (in the bubble bath), my beautiful love got on one knee and proposed. I was taken totally off guard and just looked in his eyes smiling and crying at the same time trying hard to get my head around the fact that after 20 years this was happening all over again, I was quite literally speechless and he said, ‘is that a yes?’ I said YES of course that’s a YES.”

July 2022: They get married in Vegas.

Lopez and Affleck tied the knot in a surprise Las Vegas wedding at midnight on July 17. The singer confirmed the news on her newsletter, On the JLo, saying that a low-key ceremony in a chapel was exactly what the two wanted.

She also confirmed the changed her last name to match her husband’s and shared a sweet photo of her in bed with her wedding band.

“They were right when they said, ‘all you need is love’. We are so grateful to have that in abundance, a new wonderful family of five amazing children and a life that we have never had more reason to look forward to,” Lopez wrote in her post. “Stick around long enough and maybe you’ll find the best moment of your life in a drive through in Las Vegas at twelve thirty in the morning in the tunnel of love drive through, with your kids and the one you’ll spend forever with. Love is a great thing, maybe the best of things-and worth waiting for.”

July 2022: They go on their first honeymoon.

The pair jetted off to Paris for a sunny summer holiday after their surprise nuptials, and brought along their kids—Lopez’s twins Max and Emme, and Affleck’s daughters, Violet and Seraphina.

The new Mr. and Mrs. Affleck were seen enjoying romantic park walks and intimate dates throughout their stay in the city.

August 2022: They have a second wedding in Georgia.

Just a few weeks after their whirlwind Vegas nuptials, the couple tied the knot in a second wedding party, a private ceremony on the Good Will Hunting star’s Riceboro, Georgia estate, per Page Six.

Celebrity guests included Affleck’s longtime collaborator and close friend Matt Damon and his wife, Luciana Barroso; and director Kevin Smith and actor Jason Mewes. In photos obtained by Page Six, guests appeared to all be dressed in white for the lavish nuptials.

August 2022: They embark on a second honeymoon.

Lopez and Affleck embarked on a honeymoon in Italy, where they visited Milan and Lake Como. They were “really soaking up” the sites and “walking around, mingling, walking in and out of shops and of course [giving] lots of loving attention to each other,” an insider told People. “Every day, they are more in love.”

While shopping at the city’s bevy of luxury stores—like Cartier, Bottega Veneta, and Valentino—the source said, “They were very kind and available with all their fans.”

October 2022: The couple “are still in their honeymoon phase.”

A source opened up to the Daily Mail about the status of the couple’s relationship, months after they officially became husband and wife.

“Ben and Jen are still in their honeymoon phase,” the insider said. “They are very head over heels for each other.”

The source added that their union has only strengthened their existing relationship. “Becoming husband and wife hasn’t changed their relationship much, except for the fact that it solidified what they had,” they said. “They’re looking at homes to purchase together and hoping to find one they’re both happy with. It’s been an ongoing process.”

Affleck was taking care of their blended family while Lopez tackled a new project. “Jen is hard at work filming, and Ben has been taking over daddy duty and helping out with the kids a lot,” the insider explained. “She adores the fact that he is such a great father and she can always rely on him. He’s been very supportive of her and has visited her on set, which she loves.”

The kids also “enjoy spending time together as an entire family.”

November 28, 2022: J.Lo says her relationship with Ben inspired her to record her newest album.

Ahead of the release of her forthcoming album, This Is Me … Now, and in honor of the 20th anniversary of her third studio album, This Is Me … Then, Lopez sat down with Zane Lowe for Apple Music to talk about her latest musical venture. During their conversation, she opened up about how Affleck inspired her to get into the recording studio in both instances—20 years ago and now.

“That album, This Is Me … Then, really captured a moment in time where I fell in love with the love of my life. It’s all just right there on the record and I didn’t even realize what was happening or what I was doing. It was just everyday going from the set to the recording studio, doing the thing, being in love, him coming into the studio,” she reflected. “When I listen to the lyrics now, I didn’t even realize that I was writing some of our story that would happen, which was sick. … I didn’t even realize it was kind of prophetic in a way.”

She added, “When he came back into my life, again the same thing happened where I felt so inspired and so overtaken with emotion that it was just pouring out of me. When I feel good, I write music. And I wrote music and I got in the studio in I think May, and by August when we got married, it was done.”

Lopez also spoke candidly about her initial breakup with Affleck back in 2004. “It was so painful after we broke up. Once we called off that wedding 20 years ago, it was the biggest heartbreak of my life. And I honestly felt like I was gonna die,” she said. “It sent me on a spiral for the next 18 years where I … couldn’t get it right. But now, 20 years later, it does have a happy ending. It has the most, would-never-happen-in-Hollywood ending. They would be like, ‘That would never happen so we’re not gonna write that because nobody would believe it’ ending.”

January 2023: J. Lo says she had the “best year” after moving in with Ben.

Speaking with Today, the singer described the milestone year that was her 2022.

“We moved in together, the kids moved in together, so it’s been like a really kind of emotional transition,” she said. “But at the same time … all your dreams coming true, it’s just been a phenomenal year.”

She added that 2022 was the “best year, I think, since my kids were born.”

February 5, 2023: They make their Grammys debut.

Mr. and Mrs. Affleck arrived at the 65th Grammy Awards in elegant coordinating ensembles. The “Let’s Get Loud” singer looked dazzling in a navy and silver crystal-embellished gown by Gucci and matching accessories. The actor, next to her, looked dapper in a classic black suit, vest, crisp white shirt, and black tie.

May 2023: J.Lo gets candid about raising a blended family with Ben.

During a guest appearance on Live With Kelly and Mark, the “Let’s Get Loud” singer opened up about her and her husband’s blended family.

“That’s almost five teenagers. The youngest is 11, so he’s not quite [a teen], but preteen,” Lopez said, referring to Affleck's son Samuel, whom he shares with ex-wife Jennifer Garner. “He’s an angel.”

She added, “The teenage years are tough. They start challenging you and everything. You have this baby for a while and then it’s like your best little friend who loves being with you all the time, and all of a sudden they’re like, ‘Get out of my room.’”

Still, Lopez described the teen years as a period of required growth for their kids.

“It’s the time when they are individuating and they are challenging everything you say and everything you do and everything you are. And that’s what it is. And you have to kind of just ride the waves,” she said. “I feel like it’s like surfing. I’m just riding the waves—whoops, just got knocked over. Now, I’m back! I’m back!”

May 10, 2023: Jennifer gushes about Ben at a premiere.

Jennifer Lopez opened up about her marriage to Ben Affleck at the premiere of her film The Mother. “This whole entire year has been so special, since getting married last year and having a lot of firsts this year together so, it’s been beautiful,” she told Access Hollywood on the red carpet.

May 26, 2023: J.Lo and Ben are “closer than ever before” and “feeling united.”

A source opened up to Entertainment Tonight about the couple’s relationship as they approached their one-year wedding anniversary.

“Ben and Jen are doing phenomenally. They are closer than ever before, and both of them are elated. They’re feeling united and are in very positive spirits,” the source said. “Ben loves how talented, intelligent, and loyal Jen is. They lean on each other and are supportive of one another.”

The insider also spoke about their plans for the summer, adding that the stars had been coordinating their kids’ schedules ahead of the season. “Ben and Jen Garner are figuring out their kids’ upcoming schedules,” the source said. “As for Jen and Marc Anthony, there are no issues when it comes to co-parenting.”

February 8, 2024: J.Lo reveals Ben pushed her to finish writing the This Is Me … Now movie.

During a press conference for forthcoming movie musical, inspired by the songs from her ninth studio album of the same name, Lopez discussed how Affleck helped boost her confidence and pushed her to finish the script.

“I was like, ‘I don’t write, I don’t do this.’ He was like, ‘You do, you write, you direct, you produce, you choreograph, you do all the things. Start stepping into that, start owning a little bit of who you are,’” she said.

She added that her rekindled romance with Affleck was what inspired her to get back in the studio. “When Ben and I got back together, it was just like, ‘I want to make music again, I want to get back in the studio,’” she said. “I was very, very inspired.”

She continued, “It ended this 20-year journey about a lot of questions that I had about love and being myself, a hopeless romantic, and what it means to really enter into a kind of healthier, more self-accepting phase for myself. Now what will happen from that, I hope, will be even more wonderful things that I have been so privileged to live up until this point.”

February 27, 2024: Ben says he learned to compromise in their relationship after they reunited.

In Lopez's Amazon Prime documentary, The Greatest Love Story Never Told, the couple open up about their initial break-up and reveal what they have learned to compromise on in the years since.

“Ben and I broke up three days before our wedding and we crumbled under the pressure. You think you're doing ok so you shrug it off,” Lopez says. “I had a broken heart once I lost the love of my life, my best friend, and I couldn't talk for so many years and that was the hardest part.”

Elsewhere in the doc, Lopez tells Affleck, “I think I was angry at you for a long time. But that heartbreak set both of us on a course to figuring ourselves out to being better people. I think I’ve forgiven you all the way. I think I need to forgive myself [for] some things.”

When the couple eventually reunited in 2021, Affleck says he initially asked for their relationship to not appear on Lopez's social media at all.

“Getting back together, I said, ‘Listen, one of the things I don't want is a relationship on social media,’” he says. “Then I sort of realized it's not a fair thing to ask. It's sort of like, you're gonna marry a boat captain and you go, ‘Well, I don't like the water.’”

Lopez adds, “I don't think [Ben] is very comfortable with me doing all of this. But he loves me, he knows I'm an artist, and he's gonna support me in every way he can because he knows you can't stop me from making the music I made … he doesn't want to stop me. But that doesn't mean he's comfortable being the muse.”

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