Ian ‘H’ Watkins reveals he suffered a mini breakdown while in Steps

Jayne Cherrington-Cook
·5 mins read
Ian 'H' Watkins said the stresses of being in Steps led him to have a mini breakdown while the band were in Australia (Image: Getty Images)
Ian 'H' Watkins said the stresses of being in Steps led him to have a mini breakdown while the band were in Australia (Image: Getty Images)

At the height of their fame, pop group Steps were having worldwide hits, supporting Britney Spears on tour and winning BRIT awards, however, not all the members of the band were living their best life.

Speaking to pal Kate Thornton on White Wine Question Time, Ian ‘H’ Watkins said the intense workload that the group underwent meant he hit a really low point while the band were visiting Australia.

“I remember a really low point for me was when we didn't know what country we were waking up in,” he told Thornton.

“Our schedule was so incredibly intense. We would do a 24-hour day sometimes. We were promoting up and down the country, all hours of the day.

Read more: How Britney Spears’ private jet spelled the beginning of the end for Steps

“And I remember a really low point for me was when we were in Australia. I didn't know what it was back then, but now looking back on it, I probably was having a little mini breakdown and I didn't know it. And I was just crying and sobbing my heart out. I was just overwhelmed, overworked.”

Listen: Steps chat about the best of times - and the worst of times - over their long career

Being on the go non-stop wasn’t the only reason behind Watkins’ breakdown, he was also struggling with his identity, which was an extra burden to carry at the time.

“I was under a lot of pressure because I wasn't being my authentic self,” he recalled.

“I was still in the closet, so I still felt a massive pressure. I felt the media were kind of on my back, trying to out me a little bit as well. It was a really hard time for me personally and professionally.”

Band-mate Lee Latchford Evans agreed that their time in Steps the first time around was really full on and hard work.

Read more: Ian 'H' Watkins says ‘Dancing On Ice’ complaints about same-sex pairing were 'a dagger in the heart'

“People probably didn't realise how hard we worked - and it was kind of was like 16-hour days, every single day,” he said.

LONDON - JULY 04: Claire Richards, Faye Tozer, Ian Watkins (known as H), Lee Latchford Evans and Lisa Scott-Lee of the pop group Steps meet with HRH Prince Charles backstage during Capital FM's Party in the Park 1999 in Hyde Park , London on the 4th of July 1999. (Photo by Dave Hogan/Getty Images)
Steps meet with HRH Prince Charles backstage during Capital FM's Party in the Park 1999. (Dave Hogan/Getty Images)

“It didn't matter if it was a weekend or a weekday and we just carried on and we worked through. If anything, weekends were probably more for us because of the SM-TVs and all the things like that.

“I think we didn't really get the recognition - dare I say - that we kind of deserved for all the work that we were doing. We needed a bit more praise from it, from people around us.”

Watkins’ breakdown in Australia was a turning point for the band, who decided to take a little bit more control over their working life.

He said: “I remember from that point onwards, we actually sat down and went, right 'We're not puppets. You can't treat us like this anymore. We need designated time off. If we work a solid month, you give us a week off.'

“Up until that point, we didn't realise that we could actually speak up and be heard because we just went along. We just felt like puppets for a long time.”

Read more: Steps feared new song's title would be seen as 'insensitive' due to pandemic

Claire Richards, who eventually left Steps to form a band with H, said the Australia trip was the last time that they flew economy as they often stepped straight off a long-distance flight onto a photo shoot or other working event, while Faye Tozer-Smith said things definitely improved from the early days, when they only had one car for events.

Watch: Steps announce their reunion

“I lived the furthest down south in London, I'd be picked up at two o'clock in the morning and then dropped off at ten o'clock in the morning,” she remembered.

“I was like, first pick up and last drop off. I mean, we endured a lot, to be honest, to get where we are and well done to us for doing it and staying sort of fairly sane along the way!”

The group, who are releasing their new album, What The Future Holds, next month are pleased that they went through the whole experience together as only they know what it was really like.

“It is hard work and you do push your family away,” said Latchford-Evans.

“You do travel and we've only got the five of us really, because at the end of the day, we had management and the record label, but were they on our side a hundred percent back then? Who knows?

“It was the five of us that were really working and only the five of us know what it's like to be in Steps and have that experience for all those years.”

Listen to Steps talk about winning a BRIT award and hanging out with Britney Spears on this week’s episode of White Wine Question Time. Listen now on iTunes or Spotify.