My husband left me and our four kids, three months after buying a house

*Mary had been married to John* for 20 years when he announced he was leaving the family home. He disappeared while she was at work, without even saying goodbye to her or their four children.

It was winter 2013 when my perfect life was turned completely upside down. In August of that year, my husband and I had just bought our dream family home in Germany, where I’m from.

Even though we had a large mortgage, we were financially stable and so happy that we were able to provide a beautiful place to live for our four children who, at the time, were aged between three and 17.

But one day, three months after we moved in, my husband sat me down and told me he was moving back to his home country of Russia. He was leaving me, it had been decided, and I could do nothing about it.

I was utterly shocked. It came out of nowhere. In the days before, there had been no signs anything was wrong. We were just going about our daily lives as normal – going to work, coming home and looking after the kids in the flow we’ve been used to for so many years.

Living a lie

After my husband’s revelation, all I could say was, "Why?"

His reply was: "I need to search for myself." I couldn’t help but think, 'After all these years of us being together, getting married and starting a family, surely he knew who he was?'

I'd always thought I knew him inside out, better than he knew himself. Turns out, I didn’t have a clue, and it felt like our whole life together had been a lie.

He left two days later when I was at work. I found out through my friend’s partner, who was close to my husband, that he’d had his flight booked for weeks. When he left, all he took was one suitcase full of his belongings.

It was baffling – a relationship of over 20 years gone in an instant. He didn’t even say goodbye to me or the children, and he left in a way that felt quite chilling. Some of his clothes were still in the wardrobe, his car was on the drive and his half-drunk cup of coffee was left in the sink. In the days after, part of me thought he’d have a change of heart and come home. But he never did.

Work and money worries

On top of all this, I had to quit my job as a matchmaker. Now a single parent, I couldn’t manage working full-time combined with picking the kids up from school, cooking and taking them to all their activities.

I also couldn’t bring myself to answer calls and client requests. I'd lost all my confidence and felt inadequate coaching others on relationships when I couldn't even maintain my own.

I was wracked with guilt towards my children about not being able to explain why their dad had left. How could I explain to them that their father, their own flesh and blood, had suddenly decided he wanted nothing to do with them anymore and had no interest in seeing them?

It was heartbreaking having to tell my younger kids over and over again that their dad wasn’t coming home. It was just as hard when they constantly questioned why we had to move to a smaller house and why we weren’t going on holidays anymore.

How could I tell them we were struggling for money and that their father had left us high and dry?

I remember the moment I was sitting down with a piece of paper, writing down the amount of money I had in different accounts: just 50 Euros on PayPal and 35 Euros in my bank account. At the time, I wasn’t working at all and had to scrape money together to pay my new, smaller mortgage and feed my kids.

I felt like I was sinking further and further into a hole, with no way out.

Finding love again

A few years later, when the pain of my husband leaving felt less raw, I decided to sign up for a dating coach certification to help kickstart my career again. I also signed up for Tinder in a bid to spark up my own love life.

After three months of lessons and homework, and sporadically going on dates, I met my partner and my life changed completely.

*Harry is an amazing man, who is very supportive and understanding. He once asked me why I never mention my kids' names and only refer to them as 'my son' or 'my daughter'. I hadn't even noticed it, but being a single mum, I was always protective of my children. I never wanted to introduce them to another man unless I thought it could be something serious and they wouldn’t abandon me. My kids had been through enough, after all.

For three years, we lived in different countries – my kids and I in Germany, and Harry in the UK – and visited each other as much as possible. He eventually met the kids and they got on like a house on fire. It was a real ‘pinch me’ moment, and I felt like I was finally in a happy, settled place again.

Then, at some point between the two waves of COVID, I decided to move to London with my two youngest children to live with Harry. Although he is not their father, he spends more time with them and cares better for them than my husband ever did, who since 2016, has had no contact with them at all.

At last, I finally feel content. I’m in a new, loving relationship, my children have a wonderful 'father figure' to look up to, and I’m thriving again in my career, now running my own international matchmaking company. In my mind, no matter what heartache you may have experienced, if you truly want to find love again, you can make it a reality.

*Names have been changed to protect identities.

Read more: All of Yahoo UK's How I was dumped stories.