You'll Positively Die Laughing At The 50 Funniest Tweets By Women Last Month

The Writers Guild of America went on strike this week, and I hope you'll join me in publicly voicing your support! Everyone deserves to be paid a fair and livable wage.

Writer’s Assistant, Showrunner Assistant and Script Coordinators all got let go this week from their rooms when we called the strike so if you want to support, maybe consider supporting them. Donate to the Entertainment Community Funds.

— Caroline “WGA Captain” Renard (@carolinerenard_) May 4, 2023

Twitter: @carolinerenard_

Many of the women featured in these roundups are also members of the WGA, so make sure you follow all these hilarious ladies on Twitter!



Millennials watching Gen-Z post about how quaint the post 9/11 Bush years must have been

— Sarah Solomon (@sarahsolfails) April 6, 2023

Twitter: @sarahsolfails


“what that mouth do?” complain

— ✩ (@embreoo) April 14, 2023

Twitter: @embreoo





— jasminericegirl 🍚 (@jasminericegirl) April 13, 2023

Person 1: "Girl i'm in need for the best, juciest tits in the world 😍 Is there a chance you know where i can find them 😉"

Person 2: "my tits are small and i'm crazy. leave me alone"

Twitter: @jasminericegirl


just remembered how invested trump got in the kristen stewart cheating on robert pattinson drama……… chilling

— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) April 27, 2023

Twitter: @SydneyBattle



thinking about the couple from my high school who did couples therapy after 4 months of dating when they were 16

— bailey moon (@Baileymoon15) April 3, 2023

Twitter: @Baileymoon15








Me watching my kid play pretend with his toys: Amazing, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, he’s a genius. Me being forced to play the same game with the same toys with him: This is so boring, I will die here.

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) April 13, 2023

Twitter: @clhubes


Person 1: "saw biden in dc. anon pls"

Deuxmoi: "Likely place for him to be"

Twitter: @HannahMichaelaM





my boyfriend (who doesn’t watch succession) said “only white people can have a show where none of the main characters are hot” and i need a minute

— Marina Watanabe (@marinashutup) April 18, 2023

Twitter: @marinashutup










getting cozy in bed then realizing you have to pee

— Abby Barr (@1AbbyRoad) April 27, 2023

Photos from: The Walt Disney Co. / Twitter: @1abbyroad


I helped a Nazi cover-up their swastika tattoo today. Looking at it now you'd never know it was there, pretty wild what six feet of dirt can do.

— Brandy Bryant🏳️‍⚧️ (@InkMasterbator) April 5, 2023

Twitter: @InkMasterbator


Investment advice: put brie on the counter before bed so it will be soft in the morning

— Jenny Nicholson (@JennyENicholson) April 12, 2023

Twitter: @JennyENicholson


women weren't even allowed to have a credit card in their own name until 1974 so it's actually super empowering of me to have three maxed out credit cards

— chase (@_chase_____) April 17, 2023

Twitter: @_chase_____


Twitter usage is down so much that I posted a tweet with a typo and not one man corrected me

— Ginny Hogan (@ginnyhogan_) April 16, 2023

Twitter: @ginnyhogan_


the beautician when I go for my wax:

— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) April 6, 2023

Twitter: @hansmollman


“can you explain the gaps in your resume?” yes that was when I worked really weird jobs that I don’t want you to know about

— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) April 18, 2023

Twitter: @ElyKreimendahl


Parenting is ok except for every once in a while when my 3-year-old requests “Ham Hands” for lunch, which is when she takes two handfuls of ham and eats it in the living room while she watches tv.

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) April 11, 2023

Twitter: @missmulrooney


Some guy tried a romance scam on me and I went along to counter scam him. He finally asks for money, so I say "all my money is in Switzerland in a trustfund but to get it I need money for a plane ticket" he replies "that sounds like a scam" 😂

— الكسندرا ميراي (@LexiAlex) April 10, 2023

Twitter: @LexiAlex


why are you unsubscribing from this email list?☑️you no longer want to receive these☑️you never signed up at all, you just bought one thing from this place two years ago and now they're emailing you daily like you're their son

— Lane Moore📕Denver 5/11, NYC 5/26 (@hellolanemoore) April 3, 2023

Twitter: @hellolanemoore


Lol my daughter told me lately at school recess she’s been gardening and I was like what and she said “I asked the recess teacher if I could just have a bit of earth”

— Amber Sparks (@ambernoelle) April 1, 2023

Twitter: @ambernoelle


Genuinely how do Aldi not get sued every single day

— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) April 14, 2023

Twitter: @hansmollman


My daughter apparently submitted a handwritten cover letter and resume to the daycare attached to her school to apply for a job working with the toddlers. She said she has 8 years of experience.She's 8 years old.

— star•gyal (@beequammie) April 21, 2023

Twitter: @beequammie


At a school art fair and spent a while marveling at the depth of this 6th grader’s piece titled “feel the feeling” before I realized the painting had just slipped out of the cardboard frame and was on the floor below it

— maura quint (possibly parody sometimes depending) (@behindyourback) April 1, 2023

Twitter: @behindyourback


I was taking my diazepam before my flight and the Swiss guy in the seat next to me saw and guessed I was nervous, so he asked me if I liked cats and then showed me a photo of a cat dressed as a pilot and said “I heard he’s flying our plane, I think we can trust him” 😭

— Cara Lisette (@CaraLisette) April 13, 2023

Twitter: @CaraLisette


My favorite Ed Sheeran song is the one where he’s like “personally, I’m a multimillionaire super star, but I really miss the shitty town I grew up in. Here’s a list of how shitty all my extremely poor friends are doing right now.”

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) April 15, 2023

Twitter: @clhubes


— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) April 21, 2023

Person 1: "Girls, does anyone wanna do a soul cycle class lmao. And before you say no, keep in mind! It could be fun and exciting"

Person 2: "No"

Twitter: @1followernodad


Gender isn't binary, except for the two (2) shows about soccer. The boy show (Ted Lasso) is about what happens when boys play soccer (crying), and the girl show (Yellowjackets) is about what happens when girls play soccer (murder). Both shows are accurate.

— Emily St. James (@emilystjams) April 19, 2023

Twitter: @emilystjams


Was waiting for my bag at the airport carousel and a guy goes out of his way to stand RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, so I audibly laughed, stepped right in front of HIM, and then my bag was the first one out from our flight 💅🏾

— Alexis Nikole Nelson (@blackforager) April 21, 2023

Twitter: @blackforager


Hey, Viagra. I'm a trans woman with a moderate following and I think it'd be hilarious if you sponsored me so we can see all of the meltdown videos of limp dick old men flushing their boner pills.

— Brandy Bryant🏳️‍⚧️ (@InkMasterbator) April 14, 2023

Twitter: @InkMasterbator


Yesterday I asked my kindergartener what she did in school and she said "nothing," then later I went on Instagram and her teacher had posted a picture of her holding a crocodile.

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) April 14, 2023

Twitter: @missmulrooney

Don't miss the funniest tweets by women in March:

If You Don't Cackle Like A Hyena At These 35 Viral Tweets By Women, You Have No Sense Of Humor

Or the funniest tweets by women in 2023 (so far)!

QUICK! Come Laugh At The 50 Most Hilarious Tweets By Women So Far In 2023 Before Twitter Becomes A Barren Wasteland