The Hosts Of Girls Gotta Eat On How They Find Their Power

Refinery29
·4 mins read

Girls Gotta Eat is a top comedy podcast about dating, sex, and relationships. It has quickly become a must-listen for many: It has over 50 million downloads, and sells out its live shows all over the world. Co-hosts Ashley Hesseltine and Rayna Greenberg candidly discuss any and all dating-related topics, ranging from sexual fetishes to finances. Their guests have included therapists, comedians, and authors, and each week they devote a segment to highlighting their hilarious and dedicated audience too. They believe in self-care, the magic of female friendship, and never settling for bad sex. Here’s how they find their power.

I feel most powerful when...

Ashley Hesseltine: “I know I’m making an impact on people’s lives, when followers or listeners tell me that I helped them get out of a toxic relationship or quit their job to follow their dreams or registered to vote or just made them laugh during a dark time. Physically I feel most powerful when I’m exercising, eating healthy, and not drinking a lot. When my mind and body are aligned in a strong and healthy place, I feel unstoppable.”

Rayna Greenberg: “I see people take the advice I give on our show and use it to make a better life for themselves. To ask for what they want and demand better whether it’s from themselves, a family member, a friend or their partner. When I know that something I said gave someone those type of tools and strength, that’s when I feel the most powerful.”

Power to me means…

AH: The ability to make an impact, whether it be with money, influence, political position. Unfortunately, there are those who abuse that power and the people need to stay diligent on our collective power to fight against it.

RG: Power is having the confidence to go get the things you want. That confidence should lead you to look straight forward as you forge ahead; not next to you to see what others are doing. Once you achieve the things you desire, you help those who can not help themselves and uplift others. To me that is extremely powerful.

What do you do when you feel powerless?

AH: Every situation is different. In this pandemic, a lot of us feel powerless; for me, I have spent a lot of time and energy researching and talking to people in need about where to best donate my resources and encouraging others to do the same. I’m big on finding silver linings in dark times and it’s imperative for me to shift the narrative in my own mind toward the positives coming out of negative situations. In a relationship or work scenario where I feel powerless, I think about what I’m actually able to control (my emotions, actions, reactions) and what I’m not able to (other people’s thoughts, actions, etc.) and work through it that way.

RG: I rarely take “no” or “stop” as an answer. As Cher Horowitz says, it’s just a jumping off point for negotiations. When I am truly up against an obstacle I ask questions, dig and keep pushing until I have fleshed out every alternative imaginable. Walk through every door and if the door is shut, bash in the windows.

What’s your power anthem?

AH: Diva by Beyonce (the original and the Homecoming version).

RG: If your power anthem isn’t Survivor… The only other acceptable answers are limited to Beyonce, Rihanna, or Lizzo songs.

Who’s your power icon?

AH: Beyonce and Ruth Bader Ginsberg.

RG: Bethenny Frankel. Entrepreneur, single mother, badass New York woman who blazed her own incredible path to wild success and then dedicated her life to relief efforts. That’s a life worth living and deserving of pride.

What do you wear when you want to feel powerful?

AH: I have two modes — one is dressed up for a Girls Gotta Eat live show, usually in a jumpsuit, heels, hair and makeup done, etc. The other is my daily uniform: black biker shorts or leggings, cropped tee, Ultra Boosts, baseball hat, big gold hoops.

RG: I think power is a state of mind and can’t be derived from some intricate, overpriced outfit. There’s something super sexy to me about wearing cutoff shorts, Keds, and a t-shirt that just says I don’t need all this extra stuff to feel good about myself (but if you do, I support it too!).

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