Hoda Kotb Gets Real About How Dating Joel Schiffman Impacted Her Parenting Journey

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Hoda Kotb always wanted to be a mother, and with the support of her former fiancé, Joel Schiffman, she was able to make that dream come true.

Speaking with Good Housekeeping for the April 2022 issue, Hoda opened up about what it was like finding out she wasn’t able to have children after her cancer treatment. The Today show star was diagnosed with stage one breast cancer in 2007 at the age of 42 and she underwent a mastectomy. During this time, Hoda discussed freezing her eggs, a common procedure experts advise patients to do in response to breast cancer treatment like chemotherapy, according to the American Cancer Society. Unfortunately, the NBC coanchor’s oncologist informed her that due to her age and treatment, she wouldn’t be able to bear children.

While Hoda was devastated by the news, she took it one step at a time and kept the hope of motherhood at the back of her mind. Fast forward, Hoda and Joel started dating in the summer of 2013. She revealed that having him in her corner made her feel supported to finally fulfill her longtime dream.

“I don’t think I would’ve adopted if it hadn’t been for Joel,” Hoda told us. “Having a stable relationship in that moment was really important. Once that fell into place, it didn’t seem as scary to me.”

Photo credit: Patrick McMullan - Getty Images
Photo credit: Patrick McMullan - Getty Images

After three years of dating, the couple moved in together in 2016 and it was then that Hoda brought up the idea of adoption. "Finally, I said to myself one day, ‘Why can’t I? Why not me?’ I had this ache in me that I couldn’t push away anymore,” she told People. “I was afraid to even say it out loud, because then it felt so real. I said, 'Think about it for a day or a week or whatever.' And he said, 'I don't need a day. Let's get this journey going.' At that point I blubbered like a baby. It was like the dam burst."

Hoda and Joel welcomed their first daughter, Haley Joy, in February 2017 via adoption. “I wake up sometimes and go, ‘Oh my God, I have a baby!’" she told the outlet at the time. “But it feels totally real. I guess if you’ve been waiting this long for something, and you wish for it, pray for it, hope for it, wonder if it will ever be, and then it happens, nothing’s more real. Nothing.”

Their family grew again in April 2019 with the adoption of their second daughter, Hope Catherine. Later that same year, Joel got down on one knee and proposed to Hoda in November.

In January, the broadcast journalist revealed that she and Joel had called off their engagement and were no longer together. Hoda and Joel had wanted to get married “sooner than later,” but due to the coronavirus pandemic, their plans were postponed several times. Though their relationship status has changed, Hoda and Joel are still committed to working together to raise their children.

"We decided that we are going to start this new year and begin it kind of on our new path as loving parents to our adorable, delightful children, and as friends,” Hoda said on Today’s fourth hour. “He’s a great guy, and he’s a very kind and loving person, and I feel privileged to have spent eight years with him. We are both good, and we are both going on our way and our path, and we’ll be good parents to those two lovely kids.”

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