Hickeys Aren’t Just For Teenagers. Here’s How To Give One

Erika W. Smith

Hickeys have a reputation for adorning the necks of teenagers, but while it might be a tad unprofessional to show up to a college seminar or work meeting covered in them, let’s be real: they can feel really good.

The neck is an erogenous zone, so kissing, sucking, and biting the sensitive skin there can can really turn someone on. (And while you can technically get a hickey anywhere, erogenous zones, like the neck and the breasts, are the most common real estate.)

A hickey is really just another word for a bruise that you got in a specifically sexy way. While they might be annoying in the short term, they usually fade in a few days or a week. (And in the meantime, you can cover them up with concealer... or a scarf.)

A lot of hickeys happen accidentally. You might get so into a makeout session that you simply don’t think about what your partner’s neck will look like the next morning. On the other hand, some people like the idea of temporarily “marking” their partner and will give them a hickey purposefully. Whatever your reasons for wanting to give someone a hickey, here’s how to do it.

<h3><strong>Ask your partner</strong></h3>If you’re planning on intentionally leaving a bruise on your partner, <a href="https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/how-to-make-the-first-move-asking-consent" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank" data-ylk="slk:check to see if they’re okay with it" class="link rapid-noclick-resp">check to see if they’re okay with it</a>. This can be as simple as asking, “Can I give you a hickey?” or, “Do you mind if I leave a mark?”

Ask your partner

If you’re planning on intentionally leaving a bruise on your partner, check to see if they’re okay with it. This can be as simple as asking, “Can I give you a hickey?” or, “Do you mind if I leave a mark?”
<h3><strong>Choose your hickey location</strong></h3>Does your partner love <a href="https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2017/05/152410/best-kiss-mtv-movie-awards-acceptance-speeches" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank" data-ylk="slk:neck kisses" class="link rapid-noclick-resp">neck kisses</a>? Do they get turned on when you kiss their <a href="https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/best-nipple-clamps" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank" data-ylk="slk:breasts or chest" class="link rapid-noclick-resp">breasts or chest</a>? Pick a sensitive area where your partner loves being touched or kissed. If your partner is into the idea of a hickey but worried about their coworkers seeing it, keep that in mind, too, and choose an area that’s easy to cover up.

Choose your hickey location

Does your partner love neck kisses? Do they get turned on when you kiss their breasts or chest? Pick a sensitive area where your partner loves being touched or kissed. If your partner is into the idea of a hickey but worried about their coworkers seeing it, keep that in mind, too, and choose an area that’s easy to cover up.
<h3><strong>Make out</strong></h3>While you could technically just start giving someone a hickey, they generally feel best mid-makeout. Begin by kissing and touching your partner as you usually would. Throw in some <a href="https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/how-to-talk-dirty-examples" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank" data-ylk="slk:dirty talk" class="link rapid-noclick-resp">dirty talk</a> and <a href="https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/dry-humping-orgasm-sex-tips" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank" data-ylk="slk:dry-humping" class="link rapid-noclick-resp">dry-humping</a> if you like. Give your partner lighter kisses on the hickey location before going in for your target.

Make out

While you could technically just start giving someone a hickey, they generally feel best mid-makeout. Begin by kissing and touching your partner as you usually would. Throw in some dirty talk and dry-humping if you like. Give your partner lighter kisses on the hickey location before going in for your target.
<h3><strong>Suck</strong></h3>Once you’ve chosen your hickey location and given it some lighter kisses, suck on your partner’s skin.

Suck

Once you’ve chosen your hickey location and given it some lighter kisses, suck on your partner’s skin.
<h3>Keep sucking for 20-30 seconds</h3>This will be enough time to leave a mark. You can space out those seconds if you like.

Keep sucking for 20-30 seconds

This will be enough time to leave a mark. You can space out those seconds if you like.
<h3>Use your teeth — or don't</h3>If your partner is into biting, go ahead and <a href="https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/how-to-foreplay" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank" data-ylk="slk:gently nibble them" class="link rapid-noclick-resp">gently nibble them</a>. If not, skip it. That's it! Now you're a hickey pro.

Use your teeth — or don't

If your partner is into biting, go ahead and gently nibble them. If not, skip it. That's it! Now you're a hickey pro.

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