I'm Full-Body Vibrating With Laughter At These 50 Internet Geniuses Who Totally, Completely, 100% Nailed Their Responses Last Month

1.On parents:

Person asks what's a gender-neutral term for a parent

2.On fools:

Person posts "Come here, Fool" and "The Fool jingled miserably across the floor" as the funniest sentence they've seen all day, and someone says "Me getting my name called at Starbucks"

3.On fingers:

"Dom who sticks their fingers down your throat, asks you a question, and laughs when you try to answer," with response" Yes, yes, the dentist; we've all been there"

4.On data:

"Is it pronounced as data or data?" "Honestly it changes for me data day"

5.On art:

Person asks why do they charge money for their art, and they respond, "Big fan of eating"

6.On turning 30:

What do you do on weekends when you're unmarried, childless, and approaching 30?

7.On lollipops:

Lollipops are so weird because you flavor your own spit then drink it

8.On accidents:

Someone says you could answer almost anything with "not since the accident," and when someone says "Actually you can't," they respond with "Not since the accident""

9.On attractiveness:

"Sudden powerful bursts of electromagnetic radiation"

10.On free stuff:

"Trampled to death, probably"

11.On ordering food:

Screenshot of a social media post

12.On age:

"You're never gonna believe what happened to me"

13.On parfaits:

Screenshot of a social media post

14.On earthquakes:

"thanks for that not at all terrifying image"

15.On gummy cola:

"5 pounds of gummy cola"

16.On heights:

"Why libraries?"

17.On fish:

"shit girl they sure are"

18.On the real questions:

"Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life"

19.On wearing glasses:

Screenshot of a social media post

20.On peppers:

"bro got on welding gloves just to touch it. i am not eating this shit"

21.On the death penalty:

Screenshot of a social media post

22.On fluids:

"gorlla army attack"

23.On the Queen:

German waxwork of Queen Elizabeth II is bald under hat to avoid extra upkeep work

24.On romantic moments:

"What if we kissed under the dinosaurs kissing statue"

25.On names:

Photo of adorable tiny puppy with the text "The last thing you hate is what you have to name him," with responses Doritos, Tooth Fragment by Mistake, and Emergency Cheese

26.On robots:

"Anonymous" asks "What are your thoughts on sex with robots?" And when person says "I turned this computer on like 5 minutes ago, can I have a brief moment of peace before I have to read these things," response is "You turned the computer on"

27.On children:

Person says they're not a parent because as they tucked their nephew into bed, he stared past them and said the wall people don't like them, and they're told to spend less time making excuses and become the kind of person the wall people would like

28.On the golden rule:

Person can't believe they got a fortune cookie that says "KMS means Keep Mouth Shut, the golden rule" and they describe it as "Oh yay, I love fortune cookies, can't wait to see what my fortune is" and "This cookie: Shut the fuck up"

29.On Germans:

"Why did English keep the German 'stark' as an intensifier but only for 'naked' and 'raving mad'?" "Two most German modes of being"

30.On British cuisine:

Someone says British cuisine is the best in the world and shows a bowl of food with peas that, someone says, "look like someone melted the toy solders from Toy Story"

31.On delicious food:

"What food aren't you eating even if it was free?" "A poison sandwich"

32.On mirrors:

Someone shows how mirrors are made, and someone says that making mirrors is a job I could see myself doing

33.On paper:

Someone found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper by using one in the oven and it turned into fire

34.On sinks:

People are freaked out by those American "sinks that you can destroy stuff with"

35.On forgiveness:

Person recommends turning "Sorry" communications into "Thank you," and person responds with "Thank you for your loss"

36.On tomatoes:

Researchers use a technique to turn on tomato gene to produce capsaicinoids and grow spicy tomatoes, and someone responds that the tomatoes chose nonviolence, but the researchers just had to push them

37.On crushes:

What screams, "I have a crush on you?" Answer: A hydraulic press

38.On breathing:

Person complains about not being to hold their breath for long in a video game, and when someone asks if they're a frog or turtle, they say a saxophone player, and someone says "Same thing"

39.On pointlessness:

Screenshot of a Reddit post

40.On locations:

A cat sitting in an attic, with caption "Me when I'm in an area"

41.On laundry:

"that's an air pod"

42.On bread:

"Bread. Now with Vitamin See."

43.On the name Albert:


44.On propaganda:

"its when a british person takes a good look at something"

45.On the regions of the world:

"The Nordicks."

46.On eggs:

"People are checking to see if any of the eggs are cracked you walnut."

47.On our natural urges:

"no we absolutely do not"

48.On the Warriors:

"The warriors better win tonight or that'll be the last straw in my miserable life"

49.On joyful laughter:

"Why do you say it like that's something people just do?"

50.And on skeletons:

In 1930 someone created a way for police to use a skeleton with glow red eyes to question suspects and then record the confessions through a camera hidden in the skull, and someone says "Confess your sins to the crime skeleton"