How to Handle Reopening Anxiety

In April, New York was the epicenter of the global coronavirus pandemic. Take a stroll through the city today and you’ll see couples sitting on restaurant patios, splitting a bottle of wine. There are fresh haircuts, park picnics, bookstores with their doors propped open, inviting people in. And New York is still far more locked down than the rest of the country–you can go out drinking in San Diego or get a tattoo in Atlanta. For many people, states starting to loosen up the rules is a welcome relief after months of sheltering in place. But with the country now breaking records for daily new coronavirus cases, it’s safe to say that reopening isn’t going well, and for many people the virus-induced anxiety they were already experiencing has only increased.

“This whole pandemic has come with so much uncertainty and instability for so many people,” says Ariel A. Friedman, PCC-I, a therapist in San Francisco. “As debilitating as the lockdowns have been, something I hear again and again is how these more extreme measures provided some form of stability, structure, and guidance about how to proceed. Now that we are seeing a shift as states begin to open up, I think a lot of people are left asking themselves: ‘Okay, what now?’ ”

“I've been feeling, in a word, stressed,” says Molly, 30, of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. “It became very clear to me about two months ago that people were already growing tired of the idea of sheltering in place.”

Wisconsin was originally to remain locked down until the day after Memorial Day, but the state Supreme Court overturned that order on May 13. Molly says she heard people making plans to go to restaurants and salons almost immediately.

“On one hand, I try not to be too judgmental, because I know from talking with many friends who are single and living alone that right now is a particularly difficult time to be completely isolated,” she says. “But I've seen more than one Facebook status along the lines of ‘Let the rest of us make our decisions and return to our lives—the vulnerable and scared can just stay home.' As someone who lives with a chronically suppressed immune system, that's really hurtful to hear. A lot of us are relying on the goodness of others—the mask-wearing, social-distancing, loving your neighbor—to make it through this." 

Tracy Green, 35, of Louisville, Kentucky, says she and her husband have been taking social distancing seriously since mid-March, even when it seems like no one else is.

“We went to our goddaughter’s outside birthday party and stood away from the main group in the driveway and got teased,” she says. “Another friend just came back from Florida and a week later posted a photo with six friends, no masks and arms around each other. I have social anxiety already, and if I pull into a store that seems crowded, I just leave. My boss wanted to have a socially distanced hangout, and I basically made up a reason to not go.”

Kyle Harris, a 29-year-old bartender in Nashville, Tennessee, says his anxiety is “through the roof.”

“I recently started working again at a bar, and I was there for two days until they told us an employee tested positive for COVID-19,” he says. “Seven other people were immediately around them and have all been sent home to get tested and self-quarantine. I told my manager I didn’t feel safe, so I left work to get tested and now have to self-quarantine.”

Harris says that his employer is taking few precautions, allowing groups of eight in booths and parties of 15 to 20 on their patio. “I just don’t understand how people think going out to these types of places is a good idea when clearly no one is safe,” he says. “Employees at my place of work have to wear masks, but guests do not, and an employee still tested positive.”

With all the uncertainties that lie ahead, it makes sense that people are feeling increasingly on edge. “Whenever something feels uncontrollable or unpredictable, there is a higher level of anxiety, fear, and distress about it,” says Rajita Sinha, Ph.D., the founding director of the Yale Stress Center. 

While we can’t control the actions of our friends, family members, and neighbors, there are strategies to help keep those anxieties at bay.

1. Arm yourself with information.

“As frustrating as it is, the only person who can protect your boundaries is you,” says Friedman. “While we can't control how seriously our elected officials, coworkers, boss, or loved ones take these safety measures, we can control our own actions.”

This means educating yourself and ensuring that you’re taking the recommended precautions. Right now, wearing a mask is one of the most important and effective things you can do.

2. Stay connected.

Even if you live alone, don’t isolate yourself. Sinha points out that connecting with family and friends—even through a Zoom call—can make a significant difference in terms of feeling supported. Seek out people who are having a similar experience of this moment—not everyone is hitting the bars and taking plane flights right now. 

3. Don’t ruminate in your fear.

Dwelling on what could happen only feeds into your anxiety. “Anxiety is the overestimation of the severity and likelihood of the worst-case scenario," says Friedman. "When we are anxious, we tend to anticipate the worst. Reminding ourselves what is and is not in our control can help us to reality-check.”

4. Practice mindfulness.

This includes restricting your news and social media consumption to certain times of the day—and then being able to disconnect.

Another way of being mindful is paying attention to how you treat your body. What does your alcohol intake look like? What are you eating or not eating? Are you getting exercise? Implementing a routine can be helpful in creating healthy habits that can ultimately put you in a better headspace.

Friedman also suggests checking in with yourself about what underlying fears may be informing your bad feelings. Don’t just stop at “anxiety”—give your emotions a name. Is it worry about safety or safety for others? Social pressure? Fear of looking paranoid? FOMO from the sense that everyone is breaking the rules without you?

“Identifying the underlying fear can help to target the root cause of the anxiety rather than continuing to address the symptom,” says Friedman. “Once the underlying fear is identified, it's easier to figure out what steps to take.”

Scientists have some ideas. 

Originally Appeared on GQ