Gwyneth Paltrow’s Daughter, Apple Martin, Hilariously Roasted Her Goop Morning Routine

Gwyneth Paltrow is meticulous (and lowkey hilarious?) when it comes to well, everything, but especially when it comes to her Goop morning routine ... which she shared recently shared for her curious followers on the brand’s official TikTok page. And then since Gwyneth’s daughter — 16-year-old Apple Martin — is also lowkey hilarious, Apple reacted to her mom’s vid and trolled her in the funniest way possible.

“So first my mom drinks her Goopglow Superpowder and she eats nothing except for dates and almond butter. So she will have that,” Apple says. “I suppose the Goopglow is a part of her cleanse, which she’s been on since the day I was born, apparently.”

The clip then shows Gwyneth performing the skincare portion of her morning routine, which Apple narrates and says, “It's 8 a.m. and she’s been doing this since 7 a.m. She just prances around the bathroom putting on her millions of Goopglow products for her glowing skin.”

After the self-care portion of the morning is over, Gwyneth then hops on her laptop to come up with more Goop concoctions. “Then she gets to work making some more vagina eggs and candles, also vagina candles, and vagina perfumes, and just everything vagina,” Apple jokes. “And yeah, that’s my mom's morning routine.”

The Goop account accurately captioned the video, “When you get roasted by your Gen Z daughter.” (Goop later deleted the vid, but as we know, the internet is forever.)

In conclusion: We love/worship Apple Martin and her parental-roasting abilities. Just like her mother, she is a legend in the making — sorry, I don’t make the rules.

You Might Also Like

• A Cleaning Expert Explains the Best Way to Clean Cloth Face Masks After You Wear Them — Good Housekeeping

• 35 Delicious Pantry Recipes That Use What's Already in Your Cabinets and Freezer — Good Housekeeping

• The Amish keep to themselves. And they’re hiding a horrifying secret. — Cosmopolitan