My girlfriend dumped me because she fancied my brother

Oliver*, then 23, was devastated when Larissa*, also 23, broke up with him after developing feelings for his older brother, James*, 25.

I first met Larissa* in high school. She was beautiful, smart and one of the most outspoken people I had ever met. I always secretly fancied her, but we didn’t mix in the same circles, and I was too shy to ask her out. Years after graduating, I was shocked to come across her photo on a dating app. We hadn't kept in touch and I wondered if she’d even remember me after so many years, but I built up the courage to swipe right and send her a message.

It turns out she did remember me. We exchanged a few messages and went on our first date a few days later. Despite my nerves leading up to the date, I was surprised at how comfortable I was with her. Larissa made me feel at ease. We ended up seeing each other multiple times that week. And again the week after that. She brought out the best in me and I couldn’t wait to spend time with her.

We were official within two months of seeing each other. Her friends became my friends, and vice versa. She fitted into my life so seamlessly, and I loved that about her.

Time flew by with Larissa. We had the odd disagreement, but it was nothing that we couldn’t fix. If anything, our biggest challenge was how stubborn we both were. But we learned to let things go, and not see everything as a chance to prove the other wrong. We learned to work as a team.

Ignoring red flags

But a few months before we celebrated our third year anniversary, I had a gut feeling that something was off. Larissa had turned slightly cold and distant towards me. We weren’t spending as much time together, and she began cancelling on me at the last minute. She’d always ask who else was going to be there before committing to any plans with my friends. I asked if there was anyone she was avoiding or if something had happened. She was adamant that everything was fine, and so I dropped it.

We celebrated our third anniversary with a romantic dinner and an evening at a boutique hotel. It was the first time in a while that we’d spent the whole day together one-on-one, and looking back, I think it was the first time I knew we weren’t going to last. We shared a few laughs, but it felt awkward and forced. I was afraid of losing Larissa and just wanted everything to go back to the way it was before. But when I had brought things up in the past, she was so insistent that everything was fine, so I let it go.

A horrifying confession

I kept inviting Larissa to absolutely everything, and to my surprise, she started showing up more. Although she still skipped out on some group hangouts with friends, Larissa always made it to a family dinner or family event. Sometimes I’d come home and she’d already be there. But something still didn’t feel right.

I went to Larissa’s a few months later, and before I could even walk through the door, she said the dreaded words, "We need to talk." We sat on her sofa and she told me everything. "I’m not sure how to say this, so I’m just going to say it. But I have feelings for James."

"James… as in my older brother James?!" I asked. She just nodded slowly and kept apologising. And suddenly it all made sense. It wasn’t that she was avoiding anyone for the past six months, it was that she wanted to see James. She was checking to see if he’d be around. I was shocked, confused and more embarrassed than anything. James and I had grown closer over the past year, and now he was the reason that Larissa was leaving me.

"I’m so sorry, Oliver. I’ve been pushing the feelings aside but it’s not fair to either of us." She promised me that nothing had actually happened between the two of them, but I didn’t need to hear anything else. I went home and told James what happened and he looked as shocked as me.

"I have no idea what you’re talking about, I swear nothing happened." He denied ever having feelings for her and although I believed him, I was so angry, hurt and resentful. In that moment, I hated him.

A family rift

It took nearly a year for James and I to get back to the relationship that we had. I had a difficult time trusting him, even though I knew he wasn’t in the wrong. I envied him and no longer invited him to hang out with my friends and I.

James was always making an effort to check in on me, but for about six months, I wanted nothing to do with him. Our parents found out what'd happened and kept trying to intervene, but ultimately, I needed time to really accept that my brother had cost me my girlfriend, even though it wasn’t his fault.

*Names have been changed to protect identities.

Read more: All of Yahoo UK's How I was dumped stories.