GB News is in danger – here’s how it can be saved

All warfare is based on deception, Sun Tzu writes in the Art of War. “Hence, when able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must seem inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away.”

By that measure, GB News declaration of war on woke has been a stunning success. It has seemed unable to operate its technology, inactive when choosing new topics for discussion and generally miles away from facts and ability. Only a fool would write it off after a week – and of course, all launches start badly.

But GB News is in danger of spending all the good will it built up with its punchy pre-launch publicity - the promise of a fact based, opinionated patriotic news-based discussion channel that didn’t shy away from topics other broadcasters were too scared or too left wing to touch on.

This kind of attitude lead to a barnstorming opening night – with ratings peaking at 336,000 viewers as Andrew Neil read the channels’ declaration of intent – including a spirited attack on the culture wars, no hectoring, no conspiracy theories, pride in Britain and a determination to speak up for those who feel their voice has not been heard in the mainstream media.

Since then, viewers have been trickling away. The average audience between 6am and midnight was 74,000 on Monday, 63,000 on Tuesday and 59,000 on Wednesday. The station is averaging around 42,000 viewers during the day and about 91,000 during peak hours – reaching its strongest audience of around 130,000 at 8pm when Andrew Neil takes to the air.

The spoof Twitter feed GBNewsFails, meanwhile, which documents the sound disasters, lighting oddities, misspelled chyrons, misbehaving graphics, lost connections to remote guests, and confused presenters, has almost 70,000 followers and climbing - meaning that, unless those BARB figures reverse direction soon, on average more people are mocking than watching. Meanwhile trolls are mailing in comments from the likes of Mike Hunt and Mike Oxlong or calling in with artfully placed mirrors revealing missing trousers. For all its snowflake baiting, the channel’s causing far more sniggering than triggering.

And yet, amongst the vacantly staring poorly researched presenters getting trounced by interviewees, there are moments of gold that show what the channel could be. The local reporters taking every story to all parts of the nation give a hint of the channel’s potential to step into the gap left by a vanishing local press. They allow the nation to feel its views and lives are worth reflecting on the national screen – whether spending time discussing the headlines in a winkle club in Hastings, a pub in York or a Tweed mill on the Scottish borders.

And then there’s the big beast himself, Andrew Neil, whose cutting interviews remain compelling viewing - Neil's joust with Rishi Sunak started with a woke question then went hard on poor people being shafted and the cost of replacing all our damn gas boilers; dismissed as trivial by some commentators, but for most people a big financial deal. Anti-lockdown MP Steve Baker must have assumed he was playing to a friendly home crowd, but Neil offered no favours and forced Baker into a series of awkward retreats.

Here are a few suggestions for week two:

Sort the tech out, obviously

And the cutaways and the guest bookings and the names... It’s hard to be taken seriously when the chaos is so distracting. There are signs of improvement but when you’ve got people willing you to fail and you’ve had six months to prepare, you’d have thought the schoolboy errors would have been spotted in the weeks of rehearsal. But no.

Hire some researchers

Experienced researchers. Ones who have been trained not to put callers with names like Hugh Janus on air. Ones who can check facts so that interviewees don’t wipe the floor with presenters - Amnesty’s Steve Valdez-Symonds basically nutmegged Colin Brazier and Mercy Muroki on illegal immigration.

Give the Dan Wootton Sketch Show a laugh track

The Terry Christian of talk shows’ presenting style is like a party boy arguing politics in the pub at the end of a long evening. And he’s on for three solid hours – a stretch, even for a good presenter. Having clearly not got the no hectoring, no conspiracy theories memo, he unleashes his fury at a rotating cast of uneasy sofa-based hacks, then fawns over ageing celebrities who literally insult him to his face while he nods and bobs like car dog at an after party. Shouting about cancel culture, Union Jacks and "you lefties"… we get it. You’re not left-wing. You don’t have to bang on about it. For three hours. Every evening.

Remember that Echo chambers make for good Twitter spats but bad TV

Despite the token liberals invited on the sofa, everyone just sits there agreeing with each other. Now you've had Fox and Farage you need to move on.

Pick your targets

There’s only so many times you can accuse Gareth Southgate of being a Marxist before you start to sound like a weirdo.

Keep it moving

Freedom Day is certainly ripe for debate, and you covered the subject in depth. But how many days did you need on that story? You’re a pub bore after the first 48 hours.

Let Andrew be Andrew

When the Cleveland Cavaliers, featuring Lebron James, played the Golden State Warriors in the 2015 National Basketball Association finals, The Economist called the Cavaliers playing style "LeBron and pray". If you’ve got LeBron/Andrew Neil don’t just use him more, let his spirit fill the team. He’s possibly the best political interviewer in the country. Surely he can teach his colleagues the basics. There is no defense against a well-informed question.

Leave the segments to satsumas

Woke Watch, Media Watch, Simon McCoy’s Good News – you can feel the producers searching for enormous crowbars to force otherwise interesting stories into a narrow slot with a tedious label. Well informed right leaning debate that counters liberal orthodoxy doesn’t need a badge, it needs freedom.

Walk the talk – to London, Paris and Wigan

Shock jocks have never worked in the UK. We have a different tradition of dissent. We are the nation that produces great contrarians – smart, thoughtful, well researched and eloquent if often deeply flawed from Kipling through Priestly, Woolf and the Mitfords to Amis, Rowling, Hitchens and above all, George Orwell. At its best, GB News could be George Orwell TV. There’s a Road to Wigan Pier network of regional reporters who can genuinely relay the experiences, views and results of policy decisions as they affect unheard and forgotten communities. There’s Lion and the Unicorn style controversial and contrarian but eloquently argued patriotic opinions. There’s Animal Farm style suspicion of left-wing orthodoxy. There’s the love of the individual against Big Brother.

All of that is there in fleeting, vanishing moments but – despite protestations to the contrary – there’s too many Fox News wannabes without the money, the talent or the training. Turn away from the Fox and embrace the common toad. Be more British. Be more contrary. Be more Orwell.