"My Mom Had Bad Experiences With Men And Wanted To Make Sure Her Sons Grew Up To Be Different" — This Man Went Viral After Sharing The Curriculum His Mom Invented On How To Be A Good Husband

Raise your hand if you think men could benefit from training courses on how to be better partners and husbands.

CBS

Well, we may have found our teacher. Her grandson calls her Nana Mickey, and she developed a course called "husbands in training" for her sons when they were growing up. Her lesson plans turned out to be SO GOOD that her husband ended up taking her course too. If you're a little confused, let's start with the backstory...

A photo of Nana Mickey sitting on her husband's lap, with text overlay that says "We stan Nana Mickey!"
Doug Weaver

Recently, Nana Mickey's son — Doug Weaver — shared how he grew up taking her "husbands in training" course:

Over 4.5 million people have watched Doug explain in the video, "When I was a kid, my mom did this thing for me and my two older brothers called 'husbands in training.' It was a full, multiple-level curriculum on how to be a better husband."

  @dougweaverart / tiktok.com
@dougweaverart / tiktok.com

Doug explained that his mom's course covered everything from eating etiquette to chivalry to the ethics of the porn industry.

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"And then, when I was in high school, my dad realized a lot of the things that we were learning from my mom were things that he was never taught growing up. So he decided he also wanted to take 'husbands in training,' so myself, my brothers, and my dad were all learning how to be better men from my mom through this 'husbands in training' course."

<div><p>"My mom even made certificates of completion that she signed and gave to each of us on our wedding day. There are parts of this curriculum that should never see the light of day — like the porn quiz — but there are parts that I think I will revive for my son..."</p></div><span> Doug Weaver</span>

"My mom even made certificates of completion that she signed and gave to each of us on our wedding day. There are parts of this curriculum that should never see the light of day — like the porn quiz — but there are parts that I think I will revive for my son..."

Doug Weaver

"I'm definitely raising my son to understand how consent works and that the necessity for consent doesn't end when you get married — that things still need to be consensual. Identifying when women are in distress or in danger because of other men, when to intervene and how to appropriately intervene. Healthy conflict resolution and how to express your feelings in a healthy way and appropriate ways to respond when someone expresses their feelings to you."

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BuzzFeed spoke to Doug, who said his mom's idea for "husbands in training" was something that developed over time. "It started out with my mom jokingly calling us her 'little husbands in training' and evolved from there. The moment that we realized that we were being instructed and not simply having conversations with my mom is when she had us watch videos on eating etiquette. That’s when it felt official. After that, there were occasional worksheets and quizzes," he said.

A family photo of Doug with his brothers and parents

Doug added, "It never felt like coursework because it was a lot of introspection, skills assessment, personality typing, etc., which would lead to discussions about so many other topics."

Doug Weaver

"'Husbands in training' is intentionally and systematically teaching your sons to know how to be a good partner by coming up with topics and discussing them in depth over the years. Prior to meeting my dad, my mom had a lot of bad experiences with men, both from father figures and in relationships. She wanted to make sure that her sons grew up to be different than those men and more prepared for building long-lasting, healthy relationships," explained Doug.

  Doug Weaver
Doug Weaver

Nana Mickey got her inspiration for the lessons by listening to the radio, reading books, watching TV, and writing down everything she learned that she could teach her boys. "On the way home from school, she would start the conversation, and then later at dinnertime she would say 'Okay, let's go over my notes.' It was everything from statistics about marriage, learning each other’s love languages, communication strategies, manners, common SAT test questions, etc."

<div><p>"She wanted us to know how to be in a healthy long-term relationship, and in the meantime, we could practice by treating every woman we meet with respect, starting with her. We weren’t only expected to learn it, we had to show her that we knew it."</p></div><span> Doug Weaver</span>

"She wanted us to know how to be in a healthy long-term relationship, and in the meantime, we could practice by treating every woman we meet with respect, starting with her. We weren’t only expected to learn it, we had to show her that we knew it."

Doug Weaver

"I have a feeling a lot of what she taught us came from how my dad treated her. I remember him saying one day, 'I want a 'husbands in training' certificate!' But Mom wasn’t just going to give it to him for nothing! She even got his mother to sign the certificate. I was talking to them last night and asked if they still had it. My dad knew exactly where it was. My dad is and always has been my role model. My mom taught me how to be a good man, and my father showed me," Doug said.

@dougweaverart

Reply to @crazykathy Well, here she is! 🤣🤣🤣 #mom #moms #parents #parenting #family

♬ original sound - dougweaverart

"Mom was the mother of four boys. Her oldest son contracted spinal meningitis when he was 10 weeks old and was severely handicapped. He died when he was 11 years old. I think that played a huge role in the way that she raised the three of us. I have heard her say that she believes that every day she gets to be with her boys is a blessing. The most important thing about 'husbands in training' was not the lessons themselves, but creating a family culture of bettering ourselves through honest communication and introspection, and that is work that goes on for our entire lives."

Since Doug is the youngest of his brothers, his teachings started the youngest — between the ages of 10 and 15. "She taught us a lot when we were young that we didn’t actually take to heart until we were older. She had this drilled into us, and some of it took years to truly sink in. It wasn’t a magic trick that made us not act like teenagers, but she opened up space for us to listen and be listened to. As we became adults, everything that she taught us developed and expanded, and our learning has never stopped."

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And Doug's wife, Kirsten, told BuzzFeed that what his mom taught him was noticeable the first time she met him. "My family and I all marveled, and perhaps poked a little fun, at Doug’s table etiquette. We had never seen anyone cut a pork steak so slowly and delicately. That was when he first told me about 'husbands in training,'" she said.

<div><p><b>"</b>Through our years together, Doug has been an exceptional father, not only to our son but to the many teenage foster daughters we have had," Kirsten said. "When we were Peace Corps volunteers in Rwanda, he was solely in charge of writing an entire curriculum for a youth camp teaching boys to be better men, which in large part came from 'husbands In training.' While in Rwanda, I got pregnant with our son, and Doug became an even bigger champion for women. He is the one who actually taught me how to love myself and empowered me to accept every part of who I am. There’s never been a moment where I haven’t felt his support, dedication, commitment, and love. His mother taught him the foundations of how to treat others, how to be himself without guilt or shame, and how to live every moment to the fullest. There is no doubt that I want my son to grow into this kind of a person, not only for his future partner but for himself and the world around him."</p></div><span> Doug Weaver</span>

"Through our years together, Doug has been an exceptional father, not only to our son but to the many teenage foster daughters we have had," Kirsten said. "When we were Peace Corps volunteers in Rwanda, he was solely in charge of writing an entire curriculum for a youth camp teaching boys to be better men, which in large part came from 'husbands In training.' While in Rwanda, I got pregnant with our son, and Doug became an even bigger champion for women. He is the one who actually taught me how to love myself and empowered me to accept every part of who I am. There’s never been a moment where I haven’t felt his support, dedication, commitment, and love. His mother taught him the foundations of how to treat others, how to be himself without guilt or shame, and how to live every moment to the fullest. There is no doubt that I want my son to grow into this kind of a person, not only for his future partner but for himself and the world around him."

Doug Weaver

And, although Nana Mickey didn't have much to say to BuzzFeed, she did offer this reminder: "You get to the point where you realize that all anyone really wants is to be loved.”

Disney

Since Doug's TikTok went viral, many people are eager to get their own lessons from Nana Mickey! So, Doug has created a GoFundMe account to help his mom get the equipment she needs to get started. If you'd like to help, you can donate here.