Former bride-to-be reveals she was supposed to get married next month but isn’t anymore: ‘the best thing that can happen to someone is a massive heartbreak’
While it may be difficult to see in the moment, sometimes, a broken heart can lead to the most rewarding of changes.
On June 1, Brittany Leigh Ball (@brittanyleigh) revealed via TikTok that she was supposed to get married just one month from now. Ball called off her engagement and planned wedding, and to her surprise, she’s never been happier.
“I was supposed to get married next month, and I’m not anymore, and it is so interesting to me knowing that fact and feeling the way that I do,” Ball says. “I am a firm believer that, sometimes, the best thing that can happen to someone is a massive heartbreak.”
Initially following her breakup, which happened a year ago, Ball was understandably torn up about it. Her dad reminded her, however, that this decision would be “so liberating” for her because it’d mark the first time she was truly on her own.
“Just dig in, OK? Learn how to get comfortable with yourself. Find things that you enjoy. Lean into your friends. Lean into your alone time. Lean all the way in, OK?” she urges of people who are in the middle of a heartbreak. “The more time you spend with yourself, truly alone in solitude…you don’t just love yourself. You like yourself.”
‘I will look back at age 30 as the most insanely amazing year of my life…’
This solitude allowed Ball to really get to know herself — her beliefs, her values, what she has to offer — and who she is, separate from outside influences.
“Because we are so much more than relationships,” she reveals. “We are individuals, and as they say, ‘The longest relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself,’ so that is the one that you should nurture the most.”
Ball acknowledges that although it “feels weird” to say it, this past year has been the best of her life.
“I was sitting with a friend last week, and I was like, ‘I know when I look back on all of my years of life, I will look back at age 30 as the most insanely amazing year of my life because I learned who I was and that is so gratifying,'” she says.
“When you do spend time pouring back into yourself, all of that love that you’re giving you, there’s so much of it, you’re so filled that it has nowhere to go but out,” she adds. “And imagine what you are attracting when you just have the best intentions, and you’re just loving other people.”
‘The worst things possible often turn out better than we ever could have planned’
Ball’s declaration of self-love and advocacy for taking the time to explore who you are following a breakup has struck a chord with audiences, many of whom agree with her sentiment: After the pain comes a whole lot of gratitude.
“The best thing for my life was a heartbreak. Excruciating, YES. But girl the direction it turned me I would not have done otherwise. Forever grateful!” @amykbaldwin wrote.
“The worst day of my life sent me on the best path forward and I am thankful for it,” @waandyleann shared.
“The worst things possible often turn out better than we ever could have planned,” @secretworldofalexmack replied.
In a 2017 story published by HuffPost, psychotherapist Dr. Robi Ludwig explored the scientific toll that heartbreak takes on our brains and that when people are in love, “their only motivation is to get and keep the object of their desires.” Given the fact that “the part of the brain devoted to a breakup” has “thousands of neural circuits devoted to this person,” it takes the brain some time to come to grips with the “profound pain” that comes with realizing and accepting that this person is no longer a constant in our lives. Once this realization occurs, however, potentially positive effects can be recognized.
“When a relationship ends, new questions get asked. Self-awareness can increase,” Ludwig wrote. This heightened self-awareness is also what Ball claims to have experienced for herself. “Figuring out what you have learned from this situation, and how it has served as a stepping stone for your future relationships is invaluable information for you to have.”
As Ball’s video makes apparent, a failed romantic relationship isn’t an indictment of who you are or who you’ve been up to this point. Post-breakup pain can seem unbearable, and it’s natural to find yourself questioning why this is happening to you — but it does get better, and you do feel better in time.
“It’s not uncommon for people post-heartbreak to look back on their past and ill-fated relationship with a sense of gratitude,” Ludwig wrote. “They feel happy they are no longer with this person, yet equally grateful this person was a part of their love journey history. They feel thankful this experience helped shape them into being the person they are today.”
Ball has found solitude in sharing her story of heartbreak and growth with an understanding online audience. There’s camaraderie in knowing that she isn’t experiencing this by herself.
“I find it so incredible to have a space to share my story online and have it reach people in similar seasons of life. Knowing that we are all connected no matter where we are in life makes going through new chapters less intimidating,” Ball tells In The Know by Yahoo via email. “I’m truly grateful to be able to share my story and have so much admiration with those who have chosen to share parts of their story with me as well. It’s beautiful to know we never walk through life alone.”
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