Forget the Song of the Summer; Pick Your Summer 2019 Crush

Anything can be a competition if you make it one. Just as we will know at some point before August 31, definitively and without question, what the Song of the Summer will be, what the Summer Blockbuster will be, and which international micro bag has become the sac de l’éte, so shall we come to choose our ultimate summer crush.

But not all summer loves are created equal. Through an analysis of personal style, buzz, inescapability, and je ne sais quoi, we have isolated nine candidates who could steal our hearts over the next eight weeks. Who’s not on the list? All the people who have caused us agita so far in summer 2019: Marvel superheroes, NBA players, the characters of Big Little Lies and their respective wigs, Wife Guys, reality TV stars, male politicians, and podcasters. This is not your summer, sorry! Also not eligible: Jeff Goldblum (he was last year’s summer crush) and Leonardo DiCaprio (summer turned on him; we will reconvene on Leo during cuffing season).

And now, a very biased list of who to crush on this summer.

Jake Gyllenhaal

A divisive poll on my Instagram Stories has Jake Gyllenhaal at 58% the new Jeff Goldblum and 42% “I’m—.” One follower wrote me to say, “Never. No one can take Jeff Goldblum’s place in my heart!” Listen, we will never replace Goldblum, his chaotic sexual energy or his printed pants, but we can open our hearts to a new heartthrob entering a renaissance phase of their career. Throughout his press tour for Spiderman Far From Home, Gyllenhaal has continued to delight, offering oddball soundbites, dancing to BlackPink, teasing his co-star Tom Holland, and wearing arty outfits from Haider Ackermann and Acne Studios. He also joined Instagram at the end of 2018 and maintains a goofy dad vibe on it. Seems like the heir apparent.

Pros: The gold necklace.

Cons: The gold necklace.

Megan Rapinoe

Admit it: for four years, since she won the last World Cup, you sort of forgot Megan Rapinoe existed. But Megan Rapinoe did not forget about you. Instead, she used her platform and her incredibly dyed pink hair to take a stand against FIFA (possibly the only organization more corrupt than the U.S. Government) and the U.S. Government (or at least Donald Trump). Do you not wish that at some point in your life, someone would slide up beside you and do a big ta-da with their arms? She’s sporty, she’s smart, and she apologized for cursing! Megan Rapinoe, we have to stan.

Pros: She’s perfect.

Cons: She has a girlfriend, Sue Bird, who appears to also be perfect and love her very much.

Keanu Reeves

Much like Goldblum last summer, Keanu Reeves is on a big comeback tour. He’s upgraded his style with Saint Laurent, been approved by our cool friends at GQ, and leaned in to his ability to delight and awe humanity simply by appearing with a tongue-in-cheek cameo in Always Be My Maybe. Reeves also seems to be well aware that he’s a sexy vampire, but one that wants to have a good time. What’s more, Reeves is ready to accept you—yes, you!—into his heart. “I don’t have anyone in my life. But if it does occur, I would respect and love the other person; hopefully it’ll happen for me,” he told Malaysian publication Star2.com earlier this summer.

Pros: Tall. Dark. Handsome. Brooding even!

Cons: Hit the publicity circuit hard in the springtime, can the momentum last?

J Balvin and Bad Bunny

Is it that every time you close your eyes and quietly, finally, in a private moment, exhale, you hear the erotic din of Bad Bunny bay-bayyyyy whispering in your ear, tingling up your spine? Can’t be just me. Thanks to the 2018 releases of X100PRE (Bad Bunny) and Vibras (J Balvin), both musicians have been on a constant rise. Collaborations with Cardi B and Beyoncé introduced the Spanish-speakers to a wider international audience, and their just-dropped joint album Oasis is full of summer bangers, even if it has been received lukewarm by critics They both have delightfully kooky style, a love of neon-colored sunglasses, and honestly seem to be having the most fun this summer out of anyone, Who or Them.

Pros: Will speak to you in Spanish in a nonchalant cadence that will make you forget all about Corey Booker and Beto O’Rouke speaking Spanish.

Cons: They have each other (as friends!), do they really need us?

Lizzo

Lizzo’s Cuz I Love You is the frontrunner for Album of the Summer, and she’s been supporting her bangers by banging her way through a tour and festival circuit. Wherever you are, there is Lizzo: Glastonbury, Pride parades, and your hometown theater. She’s also all over Instagram, showing off her best outfits and even more incredibly memes of her best outfits. No one has a sunnier disposition than Lizzo—and no one routinely turns out hits with her panache either.

Pros: “I never played tag, bitch, I been it.”

Cons: “I put the sing in single.”

Lil Nas X

Lil Nas X rode into summer determined to be number one. And he did just that, topping and then controversially being removed from the country charts. The flub didn’t deter him from releasing this summer’s wildest music video for “Old Town Road,” making us all want a Western suit in the process. He is extremely good at Twitter, although, perhaps, a little opaque in his intentions. After debuting the album art for his 7 EP, he came out on Twitter by directing fans to his song “C7osure.”

Pros: “Old Town Road”

Cons: “Panini”

Diplo

Every summer is the summer of Diplo doing the most, though he is really trying it for 2019. First, the Jonas-Turner wedding, now the “environmental” Instagram. Diplo is somehow everywhere and a friend to all without ever really getting on our nerves. If nothing, he is persistent in his quest to be the Internet's boyfriend.

Pros: Still got it.

Cons: Cannot be trusted with a phone and an internet connection.

The Cast of *Little Women*

As if Little Women’s cast of A-team of thirst traps wasn’t enough, Greta Gerwig had the gall to release imagery of them in period dress just as summer began. Timothée Chalamet wears a tiny vest as he laces up Florence Pugh’s corset. Emma Watson stares off into the distance in a floral shawl. Saoirse Ronan reclines in a baroque robe surrounded by literature with her flame red hair splayed out around her.

Pros: Reunited both Timothée Chalamet and Saoirse Ronan and Laura Dern and Meryl Streep.

Cons: This movie doesn’t come out until Christmas.

Originally Appeared on Vogue