It’s been all over the news lately: Eva Amurri, lifestyle blogger, NBS sports analyst, and daughter of Susan Sarandon, is very pregnant with her third child and has decided she’s not going to have her ex and the child’s father, Kyle Martino, in the room with her while giving birth. Let’s just say, the topic has gotten heated.
According to People magazine, the two already have two kids together and Amurri has decided she wants to only be near feminine energy during her birth. As a person who has given birth three times, I see nothing wrong with this decision. It is her right to decide how she wants to give birth, no one else’s. And who she wants to be there to share it with her is a very private, intimate decision I’m sure she doesn’t take lightly. In the end, she’s doing what feels right to her. The birth plan belongs to the person who is giving birth.
Amurri is in no way keeping her new son from his father, saying Martino will be able to see his child “directly after he’s born.” Not having him in the same room while she’s contracting and pushing is in no way a punishment. She’s honoring her true feelings around the subject and doing what she feels is the best way to have an empowering experience.
Giving birth is a very sacred occasion. I was happily married every time I had a baby and I barely wanted my husband in the delivery room. I was naked, peeing all over the place, writhing in pain, sweating and screaming. You have to concentrate and put all you have into the process and having someone there with you is an honor and should be respected. You want to be able to let go and not feel like you have to hold back. Who can do that when there’s someone in the room they don’t want there?
Amurri has carried this baby. She is the one who has gone through physical and mental changes. This is her body and her choice, period.
The public has no idea why the couple split — that’s between them. But if the energy doesn’t feel right and she doesn’t want him there while she’s giving birth regardless of the fact it’s his baby, she doesn’t have to let him in. Nor does she have to explain herself, but she did.
“Our intimacy level has totally changed now that we aren’t a couple, obviously, and in order to really let go and allow labor to progress (especially with a home birth) it’s so important to feel completely at ease in your body and support,” she wrote on her blog when she announced her decision.
It’s hard enough to have someone share your space while giving birth when you are in love and trust them, much less someone you aren’t sharing your life with in that way any longer.
While she will be giving birth to their baby without his father, Amurri is very candid about the fact she and Martino are still parenting together and have a healthy relationship. Which matters a whole hell of a lot more than who is beside her while giving birth.
In response to Martino’s loving Instagram post about the mother of his children, she wrote on her Instagram story, “I feel so lucky that we get to continue to grow together for many years to come. Even if it’s in a different way.”
I’ve heard a few people (all men) go off saying it’s the father’s right to be in the room while their child is being born. I’d like to remind them, until you’ve gone through childbirth you don’t get to have a say about what a woman chooses to do. Not even a little bit.
Also, how would you like to have a vasectomy without anesthesia while your ex is watching? (Not nearly as hard or life-changing but the closest thing I can think of.) I doubt you’d be signing up for that nonsense so, take a seat and shut it.
Parenting together doesn’t have to involve giving birth together. Amurri has expressed her reason for not wanting her ex in the room with her and it’s her right as a woman, as a mother, and as a human being.