Emily Ratajkowski is getting more candid than ever about her divorce from Sebastian Bear-McClard.

During the summer of 2022, the model ended her four-year marriage to Bear-McClard following a wave of cheating rumors. The pair welcomed their son just a year prior, which Ratajkowski says made the decision to leave all the more difficult. “I had just had a child, so I really wanted to have that family, so it was especially hard for me to totally walk away,” she said during a recent appearance on the Going Mental podcast with Eileen Kelly, per InStyle.

The 31-year-old tried “everything” before leaving the father of her two-year-old son, Sylvester Apollo Bear. “I didn't have the courage to leave for a long time. I was really, really unhappy,” she told Kelly. “I was, like, 100 pounds and I had just had a baby. I got really skinny because I was not okay.” (In November 2022, Ratajkowski described that period of time as “really scary,” adding that “trauma lives in the body.”)

Ratajkowski also told Kelly she went on antidepressants: “I was sure there was something wrong with me. I think so much of what I learned coming out of that relationship is to trust your instincts.” She added, “Gaslighting is a real thing.”

Following her split from Bear-McClard, Emily Ratajkowski spent some time “enjoying the freedom” of single life before jumping back into the dating scene. She was briefly linked with Brad Pitt and Pete Davidson before declaring that she attracts the “worst” men during an episode of her podcast, High Low With EmRata.

On Valentine's Day, the model hard-launched her latest relationship with comedian Eric André with a risqué Instagram post.

Originally Appeared on Glamour