Pacific Rim Uprising Review: Just Hang on ‘Til the Robots Arrive

The first half of Pacific Rim Uprising is about as fun as a trip to the dentist. The second half, however, is a dizzying and delightful foray into enjoyable pandemonium. It’s like the laughing gas really kicks in.

You don’t need to have seen 2013’s Pacific Rim, directed by newly minted Oscar winner Guillermo del Toro, to get what’s going on in this one. Steven S. DeKnight, directing his first feature after executive producing Spartacus and Daredevil, and his three additional credited screenwriters have inelegantly crammed the necessary backstory into an artless opening montage. Essentially, it’s now 10 years after the last film, when Idris Elba sacrificed himself to close a suboceanic conduit between our universe and one filled with Toho Studios–esque giant monsters called Kaiju.

Elba’s son, Jake (John Boyega), isn’t exactly living like the spawn of humanity’s savior ought to. He’s an outlaw, though he trades primarily in stolen Cap’n Crunch, Oreos, and Sriracha. This is the first indicator that this movie, though rated PG-13, is not just fine for 10-year-olds, it’s made for them. (That M.P.A.A. rating is mostly there so when you do take kids a little younger, you’ll win cool points for breaking the rules “just this once.”)

Even though the humans defeated the monsters, the reigning Sino-American joint government (which may or may not be a nod to producer Legendary Pictures’ new ownership by Dalian Wanda) maintains a cache of enormous robots (called Jaegers) that serve as ass-whoopin’ avatars for their muscular and/or scrappy pilots. When Jake is caught doing no good, he is sent back to the squad to help train a young, Ender’s Game–esque next gen of Earth defenders.

His li’l buddy is the tech-genius orphan/scrapper Amara; though actress Cailee Spaeny is 20, she’s playing 14 or 15. Her scenes with Boyega are bearable, which is saying a lot because every moment of this film that doesn’t involve robo-action is a real struggle.

The first third of the movie is chopped into ribbons and barely coherent. Scott Eastwood, who really looks a lot like his father, Clint, occupies the same narrative space as the absent Charlie Hunnam from the last movie, I suppose. Boyega gives the motivational speech; Spaeny has all the heart. Charlie Day shows up, and it’s clear that he’s up to no good because he is working alongside an evil corporate ice queen (Jing Tian) who wants to take our boys (and gals) out of the Jaegers and replace them with drones. How dare she!

Tian’s character is as rote as they come, but she deserves sincere props for killing every scene in crisp white outfits and a rather complex coiffure. The biggest cheer in the entire picture comes from one of her unexpected entrances.

That’s right: I mention cheering, because even though this movie is a snooze at first, things brighten when the film remembers its roots. When Amara enters the Jaeger hangar (called “the Shatterdome,” naturally) and begins gasping at all the robots and calling them by name, something magical happens. If a roll-call including “Gypsy Danger” and “Saber Athena” doesn’t tickle your heart, I suspect that this bit of filmed entertainment might just not be for you.

But if you are ready to roll with it, the second section—you know, the one where people stop talking and start bashing things—is just sensational.

DeKnight shoots the action with an eye toward actual framing. It may not be the meticulous choreography of Edgar Wright, but it isn’t the exhausting overkill of Michael Bay’s atrocious Transformers films, either. The best thing about the Pacific Rim-verse is when the two Jaeger pilots connect via a “neural handshake” and contort themselves in “the drift.” I can’t make heads or tails of it story-wise, but visually, it means John Boyega and Scott Eastwood groove in some martial-arts Dance Dance Revolution as digital renderings of rockets fly by their heads.

Another neat thing is how whatever happens to the humongous robots also happens to our heroes in micro. It’s like the “if you die in a dream, you die in real life” thing, only with laser swords.

I can’t lie and say that Pacific Rim Uprising is intelligent cinema; the second half is so overstimulating that it might just push your shocked brain into stasis. Luckily, there won’t be a quiz—and, more important, I exited the theater elated. In a time when giant metal fists of bad news are pummeling us all day, this harmless release valve is an absolute good. We’ve been rescued by the Jaegers yet again.

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