From Drunk DMs to Fake Babies: A Brief Timeline of Lizzo and Chris Evans' Flirtationship
Musical Accompaniment to this post: Miracles Happen by Myra, from The Princess Diaries soundtrack.
Sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do as humans is to just manifest the hell out of the future we want. That's where we are today, as Chris Evans responds to Lizzo's claim that she is pregnant with Captain America's baby. Is it true? Absolutely not. Have the two ever officially dated? Also, no. But has Lizzo had more online interaction with Evans than just about every other woman in the world? You bet your ass she has. Why? Manifesting.
Last week, Lizzo posted a video on TikTok, replying to the comment, "Lizzo baby... we know your [sic] [pregnant emoji] and we know it's Chris Evans now spill the tea [tea emoji]." So Lizzo spilled the [tea emoji], soundtracked the response to music from Captain America, and said that while she's been trying to keep it private, she's ready to air out the rumors. They're having a baby. With a fanbase of 17 million TikTok followers, it didn't take the video long to go viral and ultimately land in the hands of Evans himself.
Then, this week, Lizzo posted a follow up video showing a DM between herself and Evans, who said, "Hi, just heard about our little bundle of joy [laugh-crying face emoji] my mother will be so happy lol." Despite the celebrity elite's chaotic disregard for punctuation, there's something universal and celebratory about one human sticking with a bit long enough that it pays off. One time, I sent the Domino's Twitter account loving, if not threatening, messages until they gave me free pizza. Persistence is power.
And persistence, Lizzo has had. For those who have not been following along, Lizzo has been connecting with Evans on social media for a good while now. The first interaction was back in 2019. "Juice" was tearing up the charts. Lizzo was exploding. Evans quote tweeted her out of left field, and as an ambassador of the internet, Lizzo took the moment and ran, replying only, "wow marry me."
Wow marry me 🥴
— Feelin Good As Hell (@lizzo) June 8, 2019
Things went relatively quiet for a couple years, but the start of the real beautiful fiasco kicked off in April, when everyone started getting vaccinated and the whole world broke out into a fit of horniness. Lizzo, not even past the witching hour, drunkenly slid into Evans' DMs at around 5:30 p.m. to shoot her shot. She sent three emojis that loosely translate to just that: shooting my shot. He then responded with, "No shame in a drunk DM. God knows I've done worse on this app lol," which is a nod to him sharing dick on Instagram stories by accident. For historians reading this for cultural context, everyone was very unhinged coming out of lockdown, okay.
There was an Instagram post in the weeks after of Lizzo twerking on a Captain America, though it wasn't Evans but just a man on the street, dressed as Captain America, looking like he's really starting to rethink his career. That leads us to this week's interaction, where Lizzo suggested she's pregnant with Evans' baby and Evans, didn't not confirm it.
In addition to his response, he sent the follow up, "Just promise me no gender reveal parties lol." A man who gets it. All of this is to say, again, that we should never give up on our dreams. Sure, you have to know your lane—if anyone is going to nab one of the biggest movie stars of our time, it would be a six-time platinum artist. Maybe that's half the battle. Maybe manifestation led Lizzo to this career, this great success. Perhaps that whole decade of rising to fame as Captain America was only so he could find Lizzo. As the band Yes once famously sang, "Love will find a way."
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