Does 'M3GAN' Have a Post-Credits Scene?
So you're going to see M3GAN, the killer-robot-doll movie whose trailer enraptured this unholy Internet. Honestly, I promise you this: you'll watch the shit out of it. Meet a farting toy at the beginning. Hear the best damn "Titanium" a capella cover of your life. Watch M3GAN run on all fours and do something so horrible to someone—I won't say who. Damnit, you'll openly admit that they deserved it.
Then the credits will roll. You'll be happy, because you haven't felt yourself smile and laugh and cry like that in three to seven years. But then you'll be sad. You're just seeing names of people you haven't met—but yes, were integral to what you just witnessed—with the dark reality that you won't see M3GAN again. (At least until M3GAN 2 or M3GAN's debut on streaming services.)
Your only hope: a post-credits scene. Maybe, you think, M3GAN will meet Cocaine Bear. Samuel L. Jackson in an eyepatch. (M3GAN, an Avenger? Beats She-Hulk.) Fuck up Margot Robbie's Barbie. You wait. And you wait. Maybe, you nibble on the last, burnt crumbs of your popcorn, wondering if you—yes, you—developed a parasocial relationship with M3GAN over the last 90 minutes, because you don't have much else in your life, nowadays. Maybe M3GAN could be your best friend, too.
But the credits end. And the theater's lights turn on. It's just you. In M3GAN. Alone. There is no post-credits scene in M3GAN.
I'm sorry.
You Might Also Like
