'I didn't want to have kids until Baby Yoda happened'
The first time Baby Yoda waved his tiny magic hands onscreen, a friend immediately asked which camp I was in: “I would kill for Baby Yoda” or “I would die for Baby Yoda.”
My answer: “I want to give birth to Baby Yoda.”
I stand by that statement. Which is wild, because I famously do not want to have kids. It’s just not for me. Besides the obvious reasons ($$$$, poop, responsibility), I constantly think about an article I once read that said not having a child is the most effective way to cut your carbon footprint. It’s my only defense if I ever meet Greta Thunberg.
Except now, there was this lil green nugget of a character on Disney+’s The Mandalorian. And all I could think about was why no one was reading to him. How was he going to learn new words?? Droids were shooting at each other and my focus was one hundred percent on the importance, developmentally, of The Child understanding the concept of hiding.
Literal science has shown that humans are drawn to things with big eyes and round heads. I mean, obviously everyone loves Baby Yoda. He’s like Yoda but with even bigger eyes and an even rounder head (and without the weirdly annoying sentence construction). I just can’t stop imagining where in my studio apartment I would put his floating crib/stroller. I picture holding him for fun and also because touch is important to infant development. I ponder raising him vegetarian and then worry whether there are nutrients a Yoda baby needs that he can only get from meat.
Of course, Baby Yoda is just one in a long line of optimally cute baby characters: People of the internet have compared him to predecessor Baby Groot, and we’ve already seen the first blatant copycat-but-make-it-an-advertisement with Planters’ Baby Nut. Sure, it’s an opportunistic attempt to jump on the bébé bandwagon and sell some peanuts, but even still I cannot stop cooing over him and his too-big top hat. And just like that, I’m calling up my gyno to ask how long an IUD removal takes.
Who knows how many other women have seen Baby Yoda playing with a metal ball and lost their resolve to remain childless for the good of the planet? Look, I’m not saying Baby Yoda is an ecoterrorist, here to cause a population explosion and fast-track climate change. But I’m also…not not saying that. *sips tea*
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