I Was Diagnosed With Herpes At 20 Years Old⁠—Here’s How I Navigated The Dating World

I was diagnosed with herpes at 20 years old, and I wasn’t sad or even surprised. I felt more like, damn, of course, I got herpes. The strangest part was not knowing when exactly I contracted it: Herpes can lie dormant for years—sometimes, forever. Yes: You can be asymptomatic your entire life, blissfully unaware that you’re carrying, and possibly transmitting, herpes.

It’s a sneaky STI: Unlike chlamydia and gonorrhea, herpes isn’t included in routine STI screenings and is only detectable via requested blood tests and/or if you’re having an outbreak. But since nearly 90 percent of people with herpes don’t show symptoms, you have to go looking for it, assuming you have something your body hasn’t disclosed. Basically, if you went out for drinks...

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