I Love All Chrises (Except One), But The Time Has Come For Me To Make A Definitive Ranking Of Every Famous Chris
As we all know, there are MANY Chrises in Hollywood, and they are (mostly) very hot, very cool, and very nice. It's honestly SO hard to choose between them — so when the "Who's the best Chris?" question cycles through Twitter every few months, I find myself at a loss.
However, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching about this. And I think I'm finally ready to share with you all my DEFINITIVE rating of the best Chrises. I hope you're all ready.
Nickelodeon
21.Let's start off with Chris Evans. He's funny, sweet, talented, and he's from like, a few towns away from me. Let's hear it for Chris Evans, last on this list!
If anyone can work the pornstache, it's Chris Evans.
20.Next up, we got...(drumroll please)...Chris Evans! But this time, he's in sunglasses. He's giving Joe Biden here, but like, back when Joe Biden was Obama's dad-energy VP.
19.Next up we have...and you're not going to believe this one...Chris Evans! I know what you're going to say; this is the same as the last one. But that's where you're wrong. This Chris Evans isn't wearing sunglasses.
18.Next up...and this was a really, really hard decision...I gotta go with Chris Evans. WITH PUPPIES.
17.Next up HAS to be High School Chris Evans.
16.Followed closely by '90s Abercrombie Chris Evans.
15.Approaching the middle of the ranking is what I call Joe-from-You Chris Evans.
14.Sorry, Chris — onto the next Chris! I call this masterpiece "Chris Evans With Dog (2022, colorized)."
13.Next up, we got another Biden Evans here. Look, he even does the Joe Biden point!
12.Next on the list is, of course, Chris Evans. With whipped cream that I'd like to lick off his body.
Sony Pictures Releasing
11.And I mean, how could we forget Chris Evans in bed???
Millennium Entertainment
10.This is one of my personal favorite Chrises. I call it smirking Chris Evans.
9.I love a man who can be fun and silly and play dress-up with me and the kids. So next up, I gotta go with Chris Evans.
Vertical Entertainment
8.Something about bloody Chris Evans just does it for me.
7.And I mean, we've already got two shirtless Chris Evans on this list...but I gotta go with a third. Next up we have Captain-America-reveal Chris Evans, and lord, is this a Chris I hold near and dear to my heart.
Marvel
6.But that's nothing compared to America's-ass Chris Evans.
Marvel
5.Infinity War Chris Evans just hits different.
Marvel
4.And we can't, of course, forget Letterman jacket Chris Evans.
3.You gotta love squinting-like-he-can't-quite-see-you Chris Evans.
2.This Chris Evans is literally ~on fire~.
And finally, the moment you've all been waiting for...the # 1 Chris in Hollywood... Are you ready???
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Here he is...the #1 Chris...
1.LOL, I'm just kidding. Can you imagine??? No, it's obviously Chris Evans.
