What would you do if you’d been in a relationship with someone for seven months and that person didn’t think you all were exclusive? You, on the other hand, feel that you’ve been going strong with this person all along.
Enter Terrence, 25, and Elle, 26, in their confusing relationship, or is it even that? The two met at a dinner for the birthday celebration for a friend of a friend a year back and started seeing each other shortly afterward. Terrence works as an accountant, and Elle is a bank teller.
Though they never defined the relationship, they have been spending a lot of time together since they met. Elle describes their relationship as “the best thing she’s ever experienced,” while Terrence says, “She’s the homie-lover-friend.”
Two days ago, Terrence said he had a discussion with his friends about commitment and realized that he had no real commitment except for his job and family and friends. When he returned home, he decided to text Elle and ask why she didn’t have a boyfriend because he questioned why he didn’t have a girlfriend, however, he was shocked at her reaction.
Terrence: Hey, quick question, are you busy?
Elle: Hey you, wassup?
Terrence: Just wondering… y don’t you have a bf?
Elle: … ha ha
Elle: Oh, you’re serious?
Elle: Wth do you mean?!
Terrence: What’s wrong?
Elle: We’ve literally been together! 7 months! What do you mean?!
Terrence: I mean… yeah, but not really locked in like that.
Elle: Not locked in? Are you serious?!
Terrence: Woah. I don’t know what to say…
Elle: Terrence, I’ve only been with you, we’re definitely exclusive, right?!
Terrence: I mean, we’re cool friends. I like you, you know?
Elle: You like me? OK.
Terrence: What does that mean?
Elle: No worries.
Terrence is left confused, and Elle is hurt beyond belief, as she’s been operating as a unit, and he hasn’t.
When a woman gets short with you and ends a conversation with a period, be very afraid. So, when is the right time to define the relationship? Clearly, seven months in is not it.
Elle found herself in a “situationship,” as she obliviously thought everything was going great, and Terrence felt they were lovers and friends. For the best results, a conversation should be had early on about expectations and what each person wants.
How do you think Elle will move forward? Will she try to convince Terrence to make a commitment to her so that the seven months together won’t be a waste of time? Or will she move on because the relationship she thought she had never existed?
For some women, it can be hard to let go, but when the honest truth hits you, you have to accept what is and move accordingly. Terrence may have meant no harm to her and may have genuinely cared for her.
Where do you think Terrence’s commitment issues started? And why didn’t he know they weren’t in a relationship? Some would say, ‘Come on man, you all have had dealings for seven months. What do you think is happening here?’
Guys can be a bit challenged mentally, but is it really that severe? Something isn’t adding up for you to be an accountant, Terrence, Let’s balance the books ’cause the math ain’t mathin’.